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What a blur future that is!

The moment I start thinking about my future is the moment I start torturing myself…
Coz I have no plan nor goal…
I don’t know what I am good at…
I don’t understand myself…
I don’t get it at all…
WHY?
Since first I believed I had skills and talents…
I could see my own potential which was greater than my circles…
There were the eras I leaded people…
But then, I remain at the same level…
But then, they became higher than me…
Better level than me…
I started to lose hope day by day…
I started to doubt…
I felt very unfair…
Nothing has been changed for my condition…
I ended up being in my current circumstance…
I know nowhere I am,
I know nowhere I should go,
And I know nowhere I should start again,
I gain no power,
I gain no hopes,
Yet, I gain my upset mood…
A smile of mine is faded at the moment I dare to think about my future…
It is so blur… yeah, quite blur!

Many times which I often encouraged myself,
I cheered myself,
I praised myself,
I love myself more,
This and then, I still cannot maintain my inner peace…
And that is me right now, disappointed…
Feeling down deep to de dark….
This is me right now at this seconds and minutes…

My career is such a fail I have ever met. A failure which is quite so much to me…
No one would believe I guess…yeah, I am sobbing right now….
How come my life is quite a pathetic…

Sorry to myself for moving to here in order to get the AM position, yet I am not qualified enough and other person took this role…
I’m so sorry to myself… from my quite broken heart…


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