His Hidden Emotion

There is a moment lately when I’m on the car with my husband to join the wedding party... Oh lord, oh my country, I leave home since around 6pm but is getting to the place of around 8pm just because of that crazily stuck in the traffic jam... People whom look like in a well education with luxury transportation but poor morality and non of sense to respect other... They care non of traffic rule but just try their best in going toward their destination no matter what... And cause of that, we all are late... =_=^

To kill the most boring time during our journey in the busy city’s street, we, I & my hubby keep talking about this and that non stop until we start a topic of our dream... Well, I tell him of my dream since young age... “I dream to be a very good wife in our personal independent house with quite well managed on my household job, cook the delicious food with a good care to all my kids. I tell him I dream to study further since I wanna be a knowledgeable mom and guide my children to the right place... I dream to stay all day and night with them... Give them the warmth of love that mom should have.... I wanna be a very cool housewife.... However, after I get married, I’m just forced to work even harder... no anyone forces me but my family stability... our economy... There looks like nothing walking on the flow of my this dream...I need to go to work since 8am in the morning until around 6.30pm in the evening; I’m just getting home... I’m still living with my mom even I get married... I could stay with my kid only a few hours and he will sleep... At the same time, food and household tasks have been well prepared by mom...she even gets more tired than while I'm in single life... I have really less time with them too and especially my little kiddo... Of course, I don’t feel at ease...”

I actually don’t mean to hurt my husband but we’re just sharing our dream... Though, I hear his response to my dream and it’s damn touching me.... he says sadly that, “Coz I’m not a good husband... I’m foolish... I’m that useless for cannot offer my wife the comfortable one...but only a rough life". Hearing he says so, I feel I’m saying lately of something affect to his heart... His short sentence brings millions definitions... Maybe he feel ashamed as I’m looking down on him or maybe he feel guilty... However, what he says, really make me so sorry... It is not his mistakes in reality... This shows as he always dreams to make my living a high standard one... It seems he means to put me into a happily wife’s life... He may love his wife quite huge... he may regret that need to lets me work, right? Isn’t this his hidden emotion? I’m so speechless, excited and feeling like I want sobbing... I extremely feel sorry for saying my dream....

Emmm, you may feel I’m that too stupid dramatically lady... Although, I’m so touching for seeing his facial expression.... Yeah, I am! nahh, I guarantee you would feel the same if you are in this situation...

Apologize me my honey if I hurt you... I’m just that hurt too...