I am now at the state of wondering my old me of last several years…
I called my old me last several years as “She or Her”.
Well, I really don’t understand her at all. I don’t know what she
thought so far in the past. She always let opportunity go away from her and
even some opportunities were trying to catch her, she still pushed them away,
ran from them, escaped them or ignored them. Her circles aren’t like her. Her
circles, her friends all become higher with management level and business
owners. Because of her, I become this low and all I’m having, the low class,
low paid and high responsibilities of my life. Because of her, I am striving so
hard to live in this world.
Uhmmm, I feel so
disappointed to my old me….
I have no ideas why I did that in the past…
Why I ran from those opportunities…
And until right now, I want them so much but none of them still
come to me…
I just feel sympathetic to myself…
I don’t think I deserve this kinda life…
I feel resentful to my old me…
I feel regret…
And I hate her, my old me even more…
I really lack of many things I should be given,
Many bitches who suffered me just almost became breathless, yet they are having such better time
than me…
I see no Karma nor sin they are receiving yet...
I see no Karma nor sin they are receiving yet...
Why the heck does this happen on me???
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