RellaDeQueen: We will always be the one we commit to be!

Several posts of my 2019 Christmas! Silly in love with this season...

Things have occurred in both positive and negative in this 2019 but it has been more on negative side… 2019 must be not my year! I’ve stayed calm and hope 2020 would be soon to be with me… Oh lah… Then I am told 2020 would be a tough one for me again! Yet, it is better than 2019 since I have way to fix it. What is that? THAT IS… I must find out my GUARDIAN ANGEL! (I do believe in this supernatural belief! Hehehe) Who is that then? I have no idea at all… Who would be glad to be my Guardian Angel? Who would volunteer to protect me? Oh lord!!! And is that male or female? I just wish to be male…hehehe… I’m getting along well with male… And I hope he is handsome… XD Is he a mature man or that sexy guardian angel? Hehehe… I’m just kidding! Whoever…. If you are meant to be my Guardian Angel, I trust you would be kind to me! ^^ Stay next to me this upcoming whole year 2020 please! I’m pretty scared of being suffering, being the petty victim! (I had experie...

Well, I don’t expect anything since he never celebrated before… We didn’t even have a special meal for this type of day… I was so disappointed, quite upset… indescribable mood! I was feeling terrible; I was miserable… From first year of our anniversary, second year…fifth year… sixth year anniversary, nothing seems different… I told him what I wanted and it seemed like I was so childish to him… My man didn’t even remember well of this day... While our seventh year anniversary, we were on work mission to different places… I rethought, I motivated myself, I gave myself more and more loves, I trained myself to stay in peace with positivity and of course, I gained the real happiness from such zero expectation… My wedding anniversary is so meaning to me, yet I won’t claim for anything… December 08, 2019 is my 8 years Wedding Anniversary! I know it, I do feel it but I am so calm in such a mature way. I love myself for being this way. No more pains… My man called me and my both...

We have been a part long enough my dear blog! Many things happened including the unexpected bad, the sad ones, yet the good moments with joys, hanged out often with different people! That is tasty! My tasty pleasure! Meantime, my beloved season is back damn fast… It does proof that the moment we are working with our all and don’t keep waiting, time is going on quicker even it is actually going on as normal…hehehe… This is the windy season! Yeeeeeeeee!! ^^ I love wearing my sweater with mild long skirt or the long trousers plus with heel to go to work! I feel my warm body and my cold face… It’s way that make me feel Wowww… hehehe… I do love this type of taste… They are going along perfectly to my opinion! Happy upcoming December! I hope this last month of 2019 would bring me memorable experience with a lot of loves, laugh and caring! I’m waiting for you! ***LOVE***

Thursday, August 29, 2019  (In Cambodia, my country) Things are more stable in my life recently, no much pain but a calm happiness. I ever wished for this type of moment in the past and without self-notice, I real get it. Things are flowing the way I want… I get the job I wished for, the job which gains me no much pressure and very reasonable paid. I finally could work with senior leaders who are quite impressive with their responsibility, maturity and high capacity! I meet many good and kind colleagues right now who cares people around them… I could fall in love most of days with the same guy, my husband! We give each other more respects, understanding and forgiveness. Our love is nicely healthy. I don’t reach a rich status in society yet but that is not bad to have my current wealth, a balancing income and expense. I could raise my boys into the happy mood kids, they smile and laugh, they are happy most of days. Yeah, they are sick often and they recover ...

+ Some people: I could see how tough they are doing and I give my hand… I help them, I want them to be releasing. They don’t seem always in this situation so I trust a bit more, they will be better from my help… -> Result: They now turn to be in healthy situation and they indirectly deny to get back those tasks… That naturally becomes mine… No matter how stuck I am, how f***ing busy I am, I don’t find help back from those people… They won’t take it back… I cannot complain coz it was myself, the one who volunteered! + Some people: They help me a lot, I do appreciate their acts and I do try to pay them back their kindness… Nevertheless, they seem never feel I already tried to pay them… They don’t seem notice what I have done but they focus on what I’ve no ability to do… They don’t feel; they don’t see my efforts to satisfy them. I try to explain and show them and they are like I don’t do enough… That seems never be enough to compare to their help on me… Their expectation o...

They shared me of their opinions, they told me they didn’t mean they wanted to hold me back since I could choose what I most preferred, that would be my right, my choice. Though, they may not notice the way they spoke… The way they told me, they all meant I should not go to that new place… They didn’t wanna lets me go… Something was so! Finally, I put myself back at the current place… They would totally believe I also thought as them that made me choose this way… Frankly, my thought wasn’t changed… I still wanted that place! I felt this type of circumstance already happened once in the past whereas I wanted something so badly but I chose to give to that girl because I trusted her words and she ended up betraying me perfectly… I was damn sick of myself… I hated myself… I blamed myself for being generous to that wild animal like her… I blamed myself for trusting other from my all… Nevertheless, later on I’ve been back to believe “Kindness is nothing but the special gift ever”. S...

Roses are red, violets are blue… New opportunity comes, I wanna jump to… Yes I wanna move, Yes I wanna move! After a minute then, my heart gets a bit shocked… Thinking of if I can really give a shot, I gonna miss my current spot… Emotional war takes place, Coz I trust if I decide to challenge, I gonna gain YES, What is matter; is my inner to choose what is best… I’m alike in a status of triangle love, I’m falling for that new guy, And I still have empathy for my current man… He doesn’t treat me wrong, He treasures me good enough as lyric of a love song, How can I choose to be gone? I sometime wish him to be rough, So I must be able to find this a reason to go, Though, he is a very understanding and a generous man! He stands in middle, he knows it, he knows my intention, And what he shares, what he comments… If I wanna go, he is open for the discussion! He adds, “It doesn’t mean I want you to leave me”, “But I am open to ...

I tell myself to stay tune, my this year misfortunes don’t even reach that half yet… The bad things are on track… I had met, I met… Sadly to those misfortunes, though you guys are trying to attack me, I still believe the better day would unexpectedly arrive in miracle way… You stay giving me pains, you stay giving me the tastes of the dark world and you might enjoy the way you could play with my life… And you know what? That is just your illusion… Even I am suffering, I don’t think I should stop smiling… I still enjoy my life in every circumstances… Including that dark moments… I will never lose faith… The tears I shed, the wounds I get, they are healed that quickly… See? The moments I gain scars; are the moments I gain lessons… I could even live better… I do grow stronger… You, Misfortunes! You harm me and I become A BETTER ME!

She had never known him… Until one day, they met… The first impression had been quite impressive… Day by day, she was feeling closer and closer with him… She believed he was the one she had been always looking for, The right model for her path! Unfortunately, a misunderstanding occurrence took place, And yes, she was judged immediately, From that no one but her most respected model, What else she could be beside dying inside… Because this was really from no one… BUT HIM! He didn’t even have a percentage to believe in her, He didn’t look into details before judging, He didn’t blink an eye to describe her, He didn’t even stand in neutral, All he had done, was to create his most negative perception, He didn’t really mean to give her a single chance…but his people did! The misunderstanding quickly was unsealed, Soon she may possibly be healed, However, she lost her trust, her passion… She could not revert her emotion back… The emotion of ...

Some songs, some dramas are just quite powerful to put a thorn in a person’s heart… That one thorn is from the lyrics, the meaning of those songs, those dramas… That only one thorn is capable enough to sake a person’s hidden pain… And that only one thorn is more than capable to hurt that person again… That person starts getting to know this is the choice she made… BECAUSE… "Happiness is a choice – not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you." – Ralph Marston

It was an unplanned trip of my 2019 during several days of holidays… It was around 8am in the morning that I and my family decided to go to Steung Treng province…and he decided to continue to Preah Vihea province and last was about Siem Reap province… hehehe.. 1- Steung Treng Province I went there, was about the Preah Rumkel Resort where we could see Psort (similar to Dolphin but they live in river), yet I didn’t go on boat… lol The river was the border between Cambodia and Laos… 2-Preah Vihea Province Well, we went there since it was nearby Steung Treng province in order to see Preah Nimit Waterfall, quite beautiful!      Yet, we continued to visit “An Ses Mountain”, on the mountain is the border between Cambodia and Thailand… We didn’t stop there and we continued to “Preah Vihea Temple” on the top of the mountain and we drove our own car… Frankly, I was thinking if I ...