Mr. Always Handsome

It has been long enough that you and she never meet; how have you been doing? Is it so much if she requests you to visit her sometime often then? She does miss the time she spent together with you…

She misses the time you protected her;

She misses the time you were so cared of her;

So did the time you rescued her;

She misses the time you were so mad at her just coz she was so stupid;

She misses the way you reacted to her once she was so stubborn;

Uhmmm, she does miss the time you smiled at her and;

She missed all types of expressions from your unbearable charming face;

She misses the way you were so fond of her…

She missed the moment you cooked for her…

The moment you got jealous of her,

The moment you hold her hand;

The moment you and she were walking on the flowery and greenly field;

She misses once you and she were sightseeing in the garden of night time;

She misses the view of moonlight and starry night;

She misses the way you embraced her tight;

She missed the warmth heart she got from you;

She misses the taste of your kiss…

She misses you!!! She does miss you, Mr. Always Handsome!!

She damn misses you, her lovable Mr. Dream!!!

Hello…. Could you hear her nagging of missing you?

Do you miss her this much too?

Please come and comfort her as you ever did…

Please don’t just disappear without a trace so…

Please……….

I wonder...

My grandma tells me that I must come to a grave field on Wednesday, 1^st March 2017 at 10:27AM. I must presence myself there…

I keep feeling so frightening about her date place and her purpose….

However, I still come to work as normal before that day arrives…

At my office, my chair has issue with its spare parts and it keeps falling down automatically little by little until I cannot work more but get up and adjust it. Though, it still repeatedly go down and I cannot stand more… I go to meet Admin Dept and request to change but there is no model of my current chair which we can move during sitting… Well, I don’t think it is matter anymore so I still continue to request for the new one no matter what model it is. Finally, I get the chair-replacement with the new one that is deserved for management level… lol and I can get it since Admin Dept has no more stock for normal staff’s chair….hehehe… The new chair isn’t so fun to me as my previous chair that can be moving around but the new is stable with its height, look high class and protective… hehehe…

All in all, they were dreams and I was scared about my grandma message… (she passed away several years already); simultaneously, I wonder about my second dream of changing chair… Something good gonna happen or bad? @,@’ 

Saturday

It is Saturday today and I feel so empty…. Uhmm, I always try to encourage myself for going on my life even it is quite tough that I many times wanted to give up. I met a lot of evil people, unexpected bad situations they put me down and backstabbed me…

I continued to fail one time, two times, three times and many more times now… How much more would I keep failing?

I have family but mostly he won’t give me what I prefer to get, he made me disappointed and often does it… He takes me for granted but says that I am the one who take him for granted… He doesn’t understand himself of what he is doing to me…. I feel just so blank to him very often… I used to be hurted much just coz of these kinda acts of him until I feel a bit get used to… I keep wondering how long he would be so… He will never understand even I already tried to explain him… He treats me just worse than outsiders sometime… I never want to break my family but he keeps pushing me…

I still cannot rescue myself yet from this losing emotion… Yeah, I often feel so lose…

I don’t think I have a life I should be deserved… Self-sympathized…

Ahh and this is only 18 February but I have only 15$ in my pocket… If any bad things urgently happen, I will be ended… lol

Lord!!! How long more would I be so???

He doesn't care

On the way back from province at around 7pm, he told me he forgot it was my birthday but I didn't angry at all. Instead, I just smiled coz it was not the first time too that this type of moment happened...Forget my birthday...

The next day, I told him I wanted dinner outside; let's have BBQ in nearby small restaurant should be enough and he just looked at me and turned back to his phone; continued to laughed and voice message with his buddies.... Second day, third day, forth day...I kept insisting for the same thing of dinner and he kept responding the same as well, ignored me and continued his voice message!!!

Until today is the fifth day, I feel so mad and I mess with him... He stares at me, no response and back to group chat-voice message of his friends... I do angry and mess with him more until he is getting mad and shouts at me if what I want... I repeat, Dinner!!!!! He asks so what I want to eat??? Oh well!!! I did tell him these several days that I wanted BBQ; he must not listen to me at all!!! However, I still try to be calm and tell him I want BBQ... He doesn't change, he keeps silent and ignore my request again....

I feel so furious and I do hate when my anger turn into tears just as I am writing now...

I forgave him for forgetting my birthday; still, he seems not care...

So I guided him of what I wanted and he ignored;

Right now I'm crying and in anger, he knows but he pays no attention  and is voice messaging, Facebook, Telegram and watching TV....

I'm not greedy for anything, I don't ask for gift but only this kinda type of very common dinner that would spend only around 15$ but he real doesn't fulfill... I'm quite disappointed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, you may think this is not a big issue but it can hurt me well....

Immoral People

Those people who keep bad-mouthing about me, I can say most of their words are untrue; they color me in the bitchy image and ruin my reputation. Well, some less of their words are real just because they ever closed with me so they could see my weakness and they use it to fight me. No one is perfect and I do have flaws even it is not much but there are too. They talk about my past faults; they talk about my negativity simultaneously with their fierce talent of turning my normal story into unacceptably story… Yeah, they real spread and keep spreading about me in a very unhealthy way.

They claim as they are the good people, they make many other people to hate me; they say I am worse….

In fact, I never treat them as enemies but they treat me as anti-warrior;

I never say badly about them but they secretly stab me perfectly and in front are very normal to me;

Yeah, they hate me damn much but even now I know this, I still don’t hate them as much as they are to me…

I don’t claim I am the angel or any fairy but the way they are doing is very silly!

Why is it silly? Because I never did as what they said!!!

I won’t forgive them but I won’t revenge them too;

I gonna stay nice to all people including them as the way I love to be and;

Let’s them pay their own bad debt, their karma sooner or later themselves!

I ever felt so disappointed for the way they ignored me and dragged me out of their circle but now I feel quite fortunately since we are not the same type, I don’t want to get dirty coz of their muddy behavior! Moreover, these people all get married, they have their family; though, they are very disgusting! They do such a great sin! They cheat their own family, their own husband, their own wife… they cheat their family and have ill-relationship with their own circle!!! Oh lord!!! This is very IMMORAL! I cannot imagine how they can be this way… Well, this is their business, their choice, their life but in term of having love affair with someone who already got married, this is called dirty, horny devils! Every time, they act as good human being, they say themselves as they are good people… they showed sympathy to less-fortunate kids who have no parents or something and WHAT ARE THEY DOING LATELY???

I CAN ANSWER: they are intentionally putting their birth children of their own family into hell! Because of their own excitement, they forget those little kids… they are chilled on the bed together with their hidden relationship and are thinking to divorce their own wife and husband while are planning to turn their suck love affair into legality… They put their children into a scar of life, the life of having no completed family, no warmth, no real father or mother… They are stealing their own children’s happiness for their own, they are so selfish!!! Once their family has no seriously mistakes at all but they still are able to start and process this evil love affair. They are putting their children into so called step-parents life that mostly, nothing will be going well or advantageous for those little kids life…

I don’t mean to disturb anyone personal story; still, I can share my opinion on what is right and what is wrong to my perspective…  Their family, especially the innocent wife of that guy and all those little kids of that dirty man and disgusting woman, they are all very pitiful!!! I feel so bad for them!!

I do wish all the victims from these two devils’ affair, they will be blessed later… they are suffering now but I hope they will find the shine later, I do hope!!!