Sunday, October 8, 2017

WE ARE LOST

My Daddy is so sick with his stomach and is admitted to the Russia Hospital. A few examines and tests have been done, yet the final result isn’t out yet. The visitors who come to see Dad, they mostly have the hidden ideas that the symptom of my Dad is probably the cancer since the first examine, the red blood is lost in such a big amount… We all are very worried, Mom does cry a lot and we all wish nothing will be worse. The Buddha, the Lord does hear our praying, it is not cancer but the Stomach Ulcer and the doctor says this will be cured in one week. We are a bit feeling at ease…

My Mom is with Dad all days long, until one evening; she wants to be home for some checking and keeps my brother accompanying Dad instead. Well, it is the time I am there for Food delivery to them too. So, Mom comes back with me. Leaving the hospital, it is around 6pm but we have to walk to one nearby supermarket; Sovanna Supermarket since I leave my motorbike there. The street is much crowded; we both decide to go there by another road that we rarely walk through. At first, the sky is still clear but just after we walk on that road; the sky turns dark and darker until I cannot even see my Mom. Mom is terrified from this urge occurring… I tell her not to scare while I’m urging to find her and hold her hand tight. I tell Mom to use the flashlight in her bag. When the flashlight works, its light shows us there are a few people by the road’s pavement and they are sitting with alcohol drinking and talking. I and Mom are just quite panic to see them; we real see the road with no any people before it’s totally dark while those people also look panic to see us. I and Mom suppose to turn back; though, an old uncle there who is sitting and drinking, he advises us to continue our journey. He laughs and says that it wound not matter at all, it may seem scary but there are many people on this road. We believe him and we continue our walking. Mom is still feeling unsecured; I then turn on my phone’s flashlight to make it brighter. Immediately, we both almost walk straight to hit some people in front of us. Well, we both open our eyes big with such the questions… We certainly see no people but until my phone’s flashlight starts, we are only about 20cm distance from those people. Those people looks at us with none single words and they continue their walk oppositely from us. Mom hugs my arm with trembling and asks me whether they are people or ghosts. I tell her they must be people, it is only around 6.20pm, no any ghosts gonna show up and I laugh… Actually, I do think they are not people…hehehe…. They do look like zombie to me… They are pale, tasteless and look misery with no any much energy…

Uhmmm, we spend almost 40mins on this road but we still don’t end it yet and Mom asks me why… Oh Mom, I do feel scared much more she could estimate me… I just won’t show her coz it won’t help any but would cause Mom to be more worries… I wonder too, how come there is only the road and we see no any houses along the road’s both sides… In short, we see the road only from our flashlights too and everything is totally black… I then turn my phone’s flashlight to the right side that I almost make my phone falling down from my surprise… There is one grandma who is sweeping the rubbish in front of her house; yeah… there is house behind her… Oh my!!! What is this???? :O
That grandma looks at us calmly and then she smiles and tells us to continue our walk, just a bit more, we will reach where we plan to be… Aww, I and Mom don’t ask her yet and she could answer this, she must read our facial expression or read our inner doubts… God, I’m so scared!!!! I hug my Mom’s hand with my both palms while Mom shows her respect to grandma and move forward… We both walk quicker with no single thoughts anymore and only wish we would finish this road so soon…

Finally, we see a huge large shiny entrance and we run to it. We really come to our world and the street light also brightens the whole street as normal. It is around 7pm, so we spend almost 1 hour on that strange road. By the way, when we reach here and we turn back to see the road; it is just an ordinary road that we can see from side to side… Ehhh… What has been happening exactly? No matter how doubts we are, we won’t go there again…lol… We walk forward and try to analyze where we are… Around 10mins later, I could know where we are and it is so far from my Dad’s hospital. We are near Orrusey Market. We don’t mean to be here, oh lah… that dark road bring us to here. I tell Mom we may need to walk back to Sovanna Supermarket but then I remember I also have another motorbike at CityMall Supermarket. So we decide to go there, it is shorter.

This is the end of our tiring day, we are safe now and we can go anywhere we want. We just spend a bit time through the dark and fears.

That’s right, this is my dream! Lol… My blog full of stories mostly from my dreams… I confess I did think so much about life before my sleeping time. I wonder why I suffer from this life’s difficulties so much and I wonder how long it gonna take time to bring me to a fresh beautiful life with no much worry because I am not just stay still, do nothing and wish for the good life; but I do all my best, work-hard and save to the max but I am still in this poverty… I’m very stress about my pity life… I think and think until I fall asleep without self-knowing… And the dream starts this way…
The dream shows my Mom there too, I and Mom may have similar fate; we may go through such the creepy road of life but we both could overcome it from family support and encouragement with our strong willing to move on. We will find ourselves at new place that we don’t even suppose to be, the bright and secured world!  We are lost and we are ready to fight; we are successfully to find the way back!
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Hay… I don’t understand myself in dream… why don’t I park my motorbike in hospital but at supermarket nearby? Plus, how come do I have two motorbikes and even park at different supermarket? Hahaha… Or I would have another motorbike so soon, wouldn’t I? XD

Friday, October 6, 2017

Last 9 years….

I remembered it was my first year of the university… I was so excited, loved humor and saw the world very positively. I didn’t care any much at all, fresh graduated high school girl. Well, I met new friends, a lot of friends and we were so friendly to each other. There were not less that crushed me too, lol but mostly I would reject by acted normal or innocent.

And it was time I started knowing the world wasn’t that always beautiful…
There was a young boy who cared me, liked being around with me, praised me, inspired me and was doing so good to me. Of course, I liked him so much. He was not that handsome, yet he was very funny, quite strong and intelligent in studying. Though, later on; strangely without any reasons, he changed just as the new person… He avoided me, ignored me and looked at me with such so tasteless eyes... I didn’t know what to do, and all I was doing that time, I just lets things went as it wanted… I was so disappointed in him anyway…

Today, I checked my Gmail just because it increases to almost 10k email. Well, well, I didn’t check any much too, I actually mean to deleted most of them which link from some social medias and I found an email from that young boy last 9 years and…and… now I guess I know why he ignored me…

Here!!! Here:

hehehehe.... At this moment, I wonder if that time he confessed to me or threatened me exactly... Did he really ask me for suggestion? And coz I didn't know, he may thought I looked down on him or his words or what? Or he was upset coz I didn't reply him, wasn't him??!! So narrow-minded... lol... Back then, he was new graduated high school boy too, how come did he write such this text? hahahaha....

It became such the past that he may already forget but I just knew... Life is really something that full of mysterious...

Uhmmm... Yeah, I'm sorry for seeing your words this quite late Cat! You are so lovely and cute... XD If I saw it on time, maybe there would be any legends...hahahaha...

Hay Blog! I come back to you with broken heart again...

My dear speakup zone, my dear blog, I came here with a broken heart again... and so does the broken soul...   I cross path with a very g...