Unplanned Trip

It was an unplanned trip for me and my family to the mountain nearby our city of Phnom Penh.

First, we went to visit my sister’s house until it was 3pm, all family’s members were willing to go visiting Baseth Mountain and nothing had been prepared, even our clothes and make-up…. On the way to the mountain, the street wasn’t in good condition, it was very rough. I did feel scary to be on this street coz the street was in the middle of the water, both left and right side were water and I thought it should be the river…huge river…

In addition, we never visited there for over 10 years that we were asking people along the street in order to find the place. However, one hour and a half later, we reached the mountain. It was a scary moment again, the road going up to the mountain was very sloped… The right side was the mountain and the left side had nothing but forest and that high as cliff… We did risk our lives every second… Finally, we still made it…hehehe… It was so windy on the top of mountain at this late of hour, 5pm and it was so silent, a few visitors only who real looked alike gangsters… hehehe… we even thought we could be robbed too… lol… we scared many things but we still went there and enjoyed our trip.

We went to pray there and we visited another place, called Phnom Reap. We didn’t go inside, we just took photos to proof our moments… lol… coz it was so late, we had to head back home…

Baseth mountain trip is called “Scaring VS Adventure”…

I wonder my old me…

I am now at the state of wondering my old me of last several years… I called my old me last several years as “She or Her”.

Well, I really don’t understand her at all. I don’t know what she thought so far in the past. She always let opportunity go away from her and even some opportunities were trying to catch her, she still pushed them away, ran from them, escaped them or ignored them. Her circles aren’t like her. Her circles, her friends all become higher with management level and business owners. Because of her, I become this low and all I’m having, the low class, low paid and high responsibilities of my life. Because of her, I am striving so hard to live in this world.

Uhmmm,  I feel so disappointed to my old me….

I have no ideas why I did that in the past…

Why I ran from those opportunities…

And until right now, I want them so much but none of them still come to me…

I just feel sympathetic to myself…

I don’t think I deserve this kinda life…

I feel resentful to my old me…

I feel regret…

And I hate her, my old me even more…

I really lack of many things I should be given,

Many bitches who suffered me just almost became breathless, yet they are having such better time than me…
I see no Karma nor sin they are receiving yet...

Why the heck does this happen on me???

I’m sad… I’m so disappointed… I got treated very unfairly…

Trip in June and July 2017

>>> June Trip…

I have spent 3 days and 2 nights for province trip in June with my family of 3 people (My man and my both princes). We arrived the place in early morning; we were having the delicious breakfast there in a very reasonable price and continued to our booked accommodation (wooden room with fans) to drop our luggage there.

We then met with my man’s friends of around 30 people and started our picnic. Everyone brought different types of food, drinks and shared each other. Plus, we caught the fishes in the natural pond near by as well. People were talking, laughing, eating, drinking, cooking, singing and even dancing. By the way, I knew only 30% of people there but I still could enjoy the picnic…lol… I saw a male teenager, he must be at least 175cm height, white, cute face and gentle. He was drying fishes. I looked at him and analyzed his appearance with scoring…hehehe…. So attractive! Because, I did focus on him, he turned to me and I cannot manage to avoid his eyes, so we just smile to each other… hehehe… We should not only smile, why didn’t we talk? Lol… wanna hear his voice… He must become such very handsome man in short future… Uhmm… I took attention on him but I still could not hear his voice… he was too silent… I told this to my man and he told me, that handsome teenager was his friend’s son and he was only 13 years old… awww…too young, I thought he was 16 years old…lol… at the same time, I heard something so sadden my heart… that kid was mute and deaf from birth… Poor him my handsome boy…. He had beauty, yet was unfortunate… I was so sad for him…

Next day, I and my family of 4 people went for jungle discovering. We were on motorbike; we went through the long bridge to cross the river and entered the rural village there on an island. Just the moment we were on that land, we could feel the freeze air, strangely cold… We asked villagers the map there and we went on our way. A long the way to the jungle, we crossed the stunning corn field, vegetables field and many trees. Some kids were whistling and playing with their friends while they were on mission to guard their cows and ducks…lol…Some uncles were on their chariots that were pulled by cow or horse for their farming products porterage… People there were friendly and so welcome to us, the strangers who visited their place. The houses in villages were mostly the wooden. Well, I and my family were there a bit late in the evening and until we made our way to the jungle, it was a bit dark. There were many big threes there, one adult cannot hug it round but two. I feel scared actually since it was silent and cold. I meant, we heard no human sound but only the forest animals’ sound, more likely the birds’ voice…The road we were on, the right was the forest and the left was the large river. There were no many people there and I could not imagine what to do if there were robbers or especially ghosts…lol However, the scenery there was superb, fresh, green, cold and calm. There was one remarkable tree which didn’t stand straight and it made itself looked alike a giant snake, very lively in front of my eyes... O___o The longer we stayed with that environment, the darker the sky was and the more terrified I got…. I could feel there were spiritual things around us as well… No doubt, I urgently asked my man to get back…heheheh….

The last day of June trip, we were going around the province, testing good food and nice café in the old fashion restaurant…. And we backed home with some provincial food, vegetables and fishes for our parents as trip’s gift… XD

>>> July Trip…

I, my man, my both sons and my mom were on trip of this July. Whenever we were on trip, we usually got up very early coz we can enjoy good weather while driving and this time as well, we arrived the place at around 8am. We had provincial chicken rice and coffee. This time, the price was neither cheap nor expensive… We went to our booked place. My mom was in the normal room and my family was in the wooden room again on the first floor…lol… However, we chose air-conditioner rooms. This was not really fully a trip since actually; we came here for the invited ceremony as well. In the afternoon of the same day, we dressed in one color of traditional clothes as our entire relatives and joined the ceremony. The weather is too nice to describe…. The morning was cloudy but then, darker… while from around 4pm until night, it kept raining and drizzling… Though, people there were very reliable, they still tried their best to join the ceremony and the atmosphere was cold but crowed, not silent. I and my man were so tired from babysitting our both boys… They were so crabbie… Just the first son was a bit easier to control, he could understand our emotion and advice but the second one, prettily the king attitude… He gonna do what he wanna do, go where he wanna go and he must get what he wanna get or he would shout out loud and cried as f***… Oh lah…. The day of ceremony got over roughly but also memorable coz we have met our relatives, we had lunch, dinner together, we enjoyed photos capturing and chit chat nonstop. At night, my family and I slept so tight, the nice room and the nice weather, plus the nice view out of our windows… The trees of banana, guava, coconut and many more (that I didn’t know the names lol) were planted around there…

Second day, our family and relatives met again and had a small Barbecue Party for the dinner. Some grilled the beef, seafood, bread and some enjoyed eating, drinking beer, talking, teasing each other. Well, and some more ladies (including me) enjoyed gossiping about this and that and laughed together… lol… The party ended with a lot of joys… lol… The new day, we prepared and backed home…

Actually, our both trips took place in the same province… lol… Kampong Cham Province, the place where I visite very often each of years; however, the tastes of being there never get bothersome and rarely get repeatedly… We always have new duties to do, new things to see and to please with… heheheh….especially, the jungle and island we just visited this lately, was Koh Pen, I never ever been there before and this was the remarkable experience...

“Trip is something so brilliant and stress-relieving. Regardless of where it is, until you love it, it gonna be the good time being!”

The Extreme Changes...

These recent months, I found she is changing very upside down…

She once was an ordinary person who had no greed and wanted to live just a very simple life while this lately, she is full of greed and ambition. It doesn’t mean she is poisonous, yet she is not that peaceful inner person anymore…

She had never thought of being popular;

Never thought of being attractive;

Never thought of studying further;

No any plan of trips to abroad;

Not a materialism lady;

Never preferred management position;

Never value money but only happily moments;

Never thought of a life in Villa and large campus;

Never thought of screwing back to those fu*king bitches…

But now…

She wants to be the top 10 (at least) of being charming;

She wants the Master Class and continues to Doctor Degree…

She promises herself to visit Paris, Venice, Switzerland and

She plans to go to Maldives, Bora Bora or at least abroad trips;

She wants to own branding clothes, shoes, bags…

She wants those diamond jewelries on her body…

She wants modern car, modern phone…

She plans to become the management of her job;

She values money to the max;

She believes only money could bring her and her whole family the happiness;

She thinks of beautiful Villa for her living;

Last but not least, she extremely wants the power and she would step on those cruel bitches who had put her down just damn severely…

She gonna maintain her generous heart to only those who’re deserved; not to everyone as in the past…

There are no uses to be always good… Since she is then living worse and worse while those bitches are living better and better… She trusts she will survive hardly while being with no power… She has had an extremely suffering from her inner pain and many unfair judgments…..…  And SHE IS ME…

Three Empires

The TECHNOLOGY EMPIRE is owned by the King of Innovated Brain. He has unpredictable knowledge to create many new technology and develops his empire to be the top 3 per hundreds empires of the world. Not only his perfect brain, he also has such good looking appearance and well management to his people. He restructured his city to be very modern and even created Robot Soldiers who could read people mind, so great he is! He has a trustworthy assistant who respects him sincerely and could complete all his assigned mission efficiency and effectively. They have very good and closed relationship that people thinks they will become couple one day. Regardless to what people thought, they are closed in term of honesty one, no lover feeling is included. Her name is Cinde. She has charming and cheerful face, lovely smile, friendly, talkative, yet is understandable, work result-oriented, creativity and socialize but a bit sensitive sometime.

One day, the king is having the meeting with a Representative Officer from another empire and the discussion is about Cinde. Her name is popular and is spread to other empires while this empire comes and requests the king to get her in exchanging for more supporting power-enlargement to the king and proposes a nice huge land near the border. Cinde hears about this discussion while she is about to walk into the room. She pauses near the door, waiting to hear the king’s response. She trusts the king would reject this proposal since he is the kindest to her and treats her as family members. The king real rejects the proposal and she feels very blessed so she opens the door and walk-in with smile. The king calls her to stand next to him and joins the discussion. However, things have been changed in next hour, the Representative Officer proposes more and more until the king accepts with gladness. Cinde is pale and about to collapse with heart-broken into pieces. She finds it too hard to believe what she just heard. The Representative Officer leaves the king’s room with his proud of successful convincing. Cinde looks at the king and asks him “Why?” The king replies he real loves her as his sister that this nation is belonging to him, just a like belonging to Cinde. Hence, her sacrifice is for the whole nation. He says that he is so proud of her and the nation would always remember her. He trusts Cinde would be in another empire with honor and respect. Cinde gets no words to reply and her lips are automatically zipped. This is the King’s order; actually, she has no right to ask for reasons. The people in the Technology Empire all think she will become the queen of that new empire and they feel very thankful to her sacrifice from all their respectful heart.

Cinde then is sent to the assigned empire. She has no ideas what kind of place she is sent to and this is the second time she gets so disappointed since her expectation is hugely opposite to what it real is. She is standing in front of the empire’s gate, in the name of “BLACK MAGIC EMPIRE” with her surprised, thrilled emotion. Her birthplace of Technology Empire is a democracy one even the leader is called the king; while here the Black Magic Empire is the communist place which is owned by their scary king. The internal information in the Technology Empire can be spread out very freely while the internal information in this empire is not allowed to be leaked or the one who spread it will be sentenced to death. The empire is covered by the black magic where the empire’s people cannot go out at all if there is no their majesty’s approval. This empire is so strange since there is no day time but only the thick mist dark environment and cold. 

There seem full of spirit and soul. Instead of being the princess or queen as Cinde is judged by her people, she is assigned to be the Bury Lady who responds for burying all the dead people in this empire. No comments can be said nor the complains; Cinde is in her black custom with a mask on her face and a shovel in her hand. Day by day, she is working tiredly, from at first of being so frighten to those dead body until she has no more feeling toward this job. She is living in a room that is even darker than the outside and has only a candle to bright the room blurrily. In her room, there is one mirror box in the size of one meter square that has a floating pale man’s head inside, only the head! Well, she was crying with haunting feeling at first but sooner, she could adapt to the environment there and because that man’s head has no reaction at all; seem like the dead one and keeps closing his eyes. Cinde always talks to that no-reaction head; she considers him as her friend who she can share everything (Actually, she is alike talking alone but it is better than she is talking to the wall or totally alone…). She tells him of how she was living in her birthplace, jokes, things have happened in this Black Magic Empire, her complaining, her fussy and even shares him of how sad she is while is sobbing and hugging that mirror box and the pale floating head is still that no reaction as usual.

Today, she comes back to her room very late at night. She sits down near the mirror box and tells the floating head as she is so exhausted with her tasteless life here, she has neither hope nor no one beside him here and she wants to end her life here and right now… She takes out the knife and is about to cut her throat; immediately, the floating head opens his eyes in such so bloody devil eyes and starts talking to her while the moments he talks, the black smoke comes out from his mouth and fills the mirror box with all this dark smoke…. He tells her not to commit suicide, she is not alone, she has him and she is the most precious person to him, she is so lovable to him…. Cinde opens her eyes big and finally is blackout. The moment she wakes up, she finds herself sleeping on the bed, covers by the blanket and has no single clothes on her body. She is hugging her blanket tight with a lot of crying until there are no more tears to be shed. She dresses and walks to see her friend but he disappeared so she walks out the room soullessly. She cannot remember what has happened or who did that dirty act on her while she was unconscious. On the way she is walking, no matter who see her, they are astonished and bow to her with highly respect. She again has no ideas of what extremely has happened. She continues her way until there is a big door in front of her. She thinks of open the door and suddenly it opens itself with the black smoke… Cinde just goes through the door with a bit doubtful. She now is in the garden of black and brown flowers with sharp thorn under the warm moon light… Everything here seems lack of colorful colors but only the white and dark colors. She then thinks of picking the flowers while they are cut by themselves and fly to her hand… She is more doubtful and thinks of doing other things and they are not different, they all come to find her themselves. At the same time, they are coming to her with the black smoke…

A voice comes up to disturb the silent atmosphere…  “My Queen Cinde, what are you doing there alone?” Cinde is finding the voice’s owner and sees a tall good looking guy in white shirt and black trousers with a pale face and that is her friend, Mr. No Reaction who was the Pale floating head in the mirror box… She later learns to know who he exactly is… He is the King of this Black Magic Empire and he was cursed to stay in that mirror box with a scary image; without knowing how he could leave it. He was cursed not to have serious relationship with anyone as well or his power will be faded. The Black Magic King once loves his power and his black magic more than anything that he decided to close his eyes and avoid from communicating with people. He leaded the empire through his thought and his black magic. Because Cinde was the main reason to support the king of Technology Empire, he ordered his officer to take her a way from the King. Though, his heart started changing after Cinde appeared and was living next to him. Even he closed his eyes but he did listen to every word from her and love did grow. The moment Cinde decided to take her own life; he didn’t regret to lose anything else and opened the eyes, talked to her. It was the surprised moment for both of them while the Black Magic King could release himself out of the mirror box and Cinde was blackout from what she saw. It was the first night he spent with her while now she is officially his queen and the queen of the Black Magic Empire. He is not cruel to her as how he is to other. He also didn’t meant to take her body but he thought this way would help her to stop thinking of suicide since she will automatically become the Queen; simultaneously, his at least 50% magic will be transferred to her body. That is why she could do anything just from what she thought of it. Even though, this is not a kind of love which Cinde have ever dreamed of. She doesn’t feel right at all but she hid her unpleasant feeling secretly.

No one dares to suspect what she is doing now. She is freely going everywhere in the empire. No longer later, she walks in to the forbidden area while there is an extremely huge gate which is the empire’s gate. She tries opening it and it real open which lets her see presence of her two friends. They three are very excited to see each other. Cinde invites them to go inside and they follow her. On the way they are walking, her friends tells her of their real purpose to come here, they want to take her back… Cinde decides to follow them and three of them start running toward the empire gate. Cinde orders the gate to open while the Black Magic King and many soldiers are running to stop her. “Please stop my Cinde!!! Please!!!”, the Black Magic King shouts and uses his magic to close the door. Those two friends already pass the door while Cinde is the last person to run after them. The door is almost closed but she tries faster to go through the door… She fells down to the floor and she could successfully escape.  There is a long wooden bridge that connects the Black Magic Empire to another mountain (The Mountain belongs to Technology Empire) and under the wooden bridge is a large dark deep gorge. One friend leads the way and runs on the bridge while another one helps to lift up Cinde to run together on the bridge. The Black Magic King is out to follow Cinde, he cut the bridge magically and the bridge is falling down rapidly. He is trying to take her back while she uses magic back to against him. They almost fall down but their luck still exists, they could reach the mountain with their shaking heart. These two friends jump from the mountain to the ground and it is so high but they can do it. They persuade Cinde to jump and do not scare since she also has magic… This moment, the Black Magic King is standing in front of the empire’s gate and is looking at her with the saddest eyes. He cannot follow her more, he is not allowed to bother his neighbor empire. He is at the Black Magic Empire while Cinde is at the Technology Empire; they are separated by that huge gorge. Before jumping down, she turns back to see his face the last time and falls her body free in the air to the ground. She feels hurtful without recognizing reasons, though, she already decided to come back to her world. 

They three are now in the Technology Empire and are invited to meet the King. The King greets them nicely, especially to Cinde. He shows his gratefully excitement to see her. Cinde doesn’t really understand him, his act, his smile, his behavior are alike the illusion to her. If he loves her as his family, he won’t sell her in return of power and many other advantages. She won’t trust him anymore. After their discussion, Cinde and her friends leave the conference room with strange suspicion because all the robot soldiers are indirectly trying to follow them and look like they are reading their mind and sending data out. The three friends start to pay attention on them and find out it is real; so a friend suggests Cinde and another to be careful by not to have eyes contact with the robots, escape from their eyes and use the palm to cover on the chest where their heart locate. Then, the robots cannot read them more. Unfortunately, it is a bit late to be careful since there are many soldiers who seek around to find them. The three friends are hiding in a small room behind the giant trees and hear what soldiers are talking. The soldiers are commanded to catch them and the special case is Cinde, the king plans to send her back to the Black Magic Empire in order to maintain all the advantages he once got from sending Cinde to that empire. The king was the one who ordered the robots to read them too that he already found out what had been occurring. To Cinde, she finally lost all the positive judgment to the king, her respect and her love. Her tears are falling down painfully. She feels too jade and hurtful to her respective king who treated her as material, not humanity.

When the soldiers disappear from their hiding place, Cinde tells her friends she would not stay here and she is asking them to go with her. Yet, she doesn’t know where she should be. Her friends show their so sorry to her persuading and reject her request since they want to live in their birthplace. Cinde could understand this feeling very well that she could smile and accept their decision. She’s ever heard of one Empire where is next to the Technology Empire, the closest one and there is a transparent door to link between that place and her birthplace. Back then, it is quite rare that people could go through that door since people all are heard that only the person who has fate with that empire, they can go through. The king of Technology Empire did try many times to go to that unknown empire for his purpose to visit the King there and to find out what the name of that empire and what kind of place it is; however, he never gets success to go there. This is the last hope of Cinde, she decides to go to that empire since it is the nearest one which could help her to escape or if she cannot manage to disappear quickly, she would be caught. Saying good bye and after hugging her friends, she goes into that door but she does fail many times. The soldiers come back and see her, they all run toward her urgently … The more the soldiers walk toward her, the more she is stepping backward with panic until she cannot see those soldiers, they all disappear. She turns around to find them; at that moment, she finds out she is at the new place! Fate brings her to access the door and reaches the mysterious empire and its name is "GREENLAND EMPIRE". She walks in and sees this place where is covered by the beautiful nature, totally the green forest. She continues her walking; she meets wild-animals and later, the empire’s people. They all are friendly and living their life depending on the nature. She is guided to meet the King there who welcomes her greatly since he says that all the people who could come here are the people who have fate with his empire. Cinde tells him all the story so he tells her to feel free and she can stay here as long as she wants. She can do anything here, it is her fully right as Greenland’s people. Here has no much rules, the Empire’s vision is “If they are fated to meet, they would help each other and live well together”. This place is full of beauty, none greed and freedom.

Cinde leaves the King’s place and goes to rest under the big tree with the very gentle weather and the warm tree’s shade. She closes her eyes for a nap but the sad face of the Black Magic King appears. Her heart is in sorrow, she could feel how that face is feeling. She doesn’t have love for him but such an unpredictable sympathy to him. She is unexpectedly missing him a lot. She cannot hold back her tears… She does miss him! Immediately, she feels so heavy on her chest, look like there is a little baby bear laying on her… Cinde opens the eyes and sees no baby bear but her second baby boy who hugs her and sleeps on her…. She is back to real world… And all has happened so far, they all were her long, very long dream….

Fantasy World becomes Real...

Hello my beloved blog, I already started a new world!!! Yeeeeee ^^

I’m finally back! I have been away from my lovely blog for a while and I have many things to share here but I gonna summarize…. Okay? :D

Last two years, I had been through the pain coz of snake people who kept backstabbing me. I was having a stable income but it was real hurt to survive in that environment.  You know, I did wish for the better place and I even prepared a plan, set the commitment of this 2017 to make a change. Currently, those wishes and commitments come to reality! I already changed my workplace!!!!

Well, my new workplace is a bit quite far from the central city and is surrounding by the palm trees and some other trees while next to our office is a huge green grass campus. It looks a lot fresh and nice. However, I bet you may find it hard to believe me of what happens here….hehehehe…. Something out of expectation does happen….

- I get very low paid here, hehehe… and I still decided to come here just I thought happiness was all I wanted while now I start feeling hesitated…. XD

- Most of people here call me “Beautiful lady”, both female and male… I don’t know if they real mean it but it is quite funny to me from my old place that I was called ugly pig…. Hahahah….

- I already made one friend that I could feel sincerity from her... She looks like a silent girl and most people judge her so but actually she is very talkative and love playing around just like me...lol... We became closed day by day... We often go to interview together, breakfast and lunch together... also go to bathroom together...lol... More, my department team are 80% female, they have different personality; yet they all have sense of humor... We had someday that won't really get along well but most of day that we share about this and that and laughed together... lol...

- Some male staff seem treat me just differently from my colleagues, in a positive way! Some is shy to see me; some tells me I’m so cute… Some calls me pretty office lady… Hay!!! That is so lovely environment that I lost so long… lol… More than that, some guys are teasing me very friendly, only with me! Look like I’m flirted… hehehe… I feel like teenager again… I admit I do feel fluttering to some guys from the ways they seem so comfortable with me, their humorous and sweet speech; especially, those guys don’t look bad at all… hehehehe…. More, some guys treat me as famous star since they secretly take photos of me…hahahah…paparazzi…. I trust they will never get good pictures; I rarely look good from my innocent way… wahahahah… I’m shy and sad to catch their acts… XD

- Maybe it is just around 40 days I am here, some female enemies already existed… They seem jealous of how I am treated… Some says that I act as single lady (I wonder how to act as married lady XD), some says that I am seducing those guys… Some goes spreading my personal information of having two kids and is a married lady… hehehe….. They are just so caring of me… They don’t wanna see me in a complicated situation… I consider this occurring in this positive way…lol… Those ladies are so fond of me…ahhahaha…. Hence, some guys who were so kind to me, they start changing….lol… They try to ignore me, they even act as don’t see my presence and some guys came to ask me directly if that information was not real… They asked me several times if I real have two kids….hahahah… Once I confirmed to them seriously yes, they seem feeling unbelievable and walked out without a word…. Lol…

Those guys then started changing but I don’t care, they aren’t my prince! Lol… I already have one and I don’t think I need another… Ehhhh…. Still, I won’t stop crushing handsome men... Why? Coz I know even if I promise to stop, I will never be able to accomplish it…. ahahahhahaha

What’s happened here, look like my fantasy dream that I’m always the charming lead actress… lol

I believe bad things already faded away and my good moment is back…

I promise I gonna live so fun here… I’ll try to cherish myself…

Though, I plan to stay here only 6 months… It was already hard to survive this first month of this low paid…

Last but not least, I gonna miss people and moments here a lot if I leave… 180 days I plan to be here and 40 days was spent….

And she is that bad...

Before married, she told him she could not cook and he said it was okay coz he could cook... But after few years of married, he teased her so often of her disability in cooking...

Before married, she told him she was not type of beautiful girl, she was always called fattie and he said he loved her attitude, not appearance. A while after she gave birth to two children, she became even  fatter and he advised her, she should look at herself and tried to lose some weight, especially her that ugly big belly...

Before married, she could earn around $200 and he didn't complain but he whispered as it should be better if she could earn $300. She did it to hit his expectation but he changed and whispered if she could get $400 and she made it again. He continued whispering and she did it from time to time until it became more than her first salary few times BUT he said it would be quite nice if she could get over 1K...She started doubting his purpose...

Her routine of life after her marriage: Get up around 6.30 am, takes care her children's bathing, feeds his breakfast spoon by spoon, sends the older to school and leave for work. When she is back in the evening of around 6.30 pm, she gonna takes care of her kids' bathing, feeds his dinner spoon by spoon again, takes care their medicine if required and back to have her own dinner and shower at around 8.30 pm. Then, she is teaching the elder kid and be with them until they fall asleep. Her mission doesn't end here, she always take care her cutie little kid full night of his milk and some at day time since her husband said she should do it just because in the day time, she wasn't home and take care them. More than that, weekend time, he complained as she must take care them fully since she doesn't really take care the kids of every full weekday. She ever complained back since she is not that free, she is working but the result is always the argument that make her feeling so jade and she agreed to accept it, be with the kids. However, during her working day, her Mom takes at least 6 hours per day to help looking after those boys since her husband goes for work. Hence, at the weekend, her Mom needs her daughter to accompany her for sightseeing or shopping, she needs refreshing herself and releases stress. At that moment, this married lady needs to give some space to her husband and save sometime to her mother. She cannot fulfill any of them a completed wish as they wanted. She ended up facing their disappointment and negative feeling toward her.... She got so much pressure on this matter, her Mom vs her husband...

Well, most of houseworks, her husband helps her to do. She does feel so blessed just for this point. Nothing is stable in this world, isn't it? One day, her husband complained badly to this matter. He won't say it in a direct way but all he meant, he shouldn't do this woman's works, housework... He feels ashamed and he asked her to try to understand him... He said she should be the one who does it....

Finally, she is called bad... She is called non-understandable, she is called lazy and blah blah blah... But how about her? Just because she won't complain of how tired she is, will it mean she is not tired at all? Lets answer, where is her time of being so free and useless? Of course, she knows she is still able to do those housework more on what she is always doing everyday but she does a lot already, doesn't it enough yet? She needs to work so hard, no matter how suffered she is at work, she is not allowed to stop by him, her family and also herself because she is struggling for this family. She cannot hang out even some little time very easily with her friends since her family said, she is married.... Evening, weekend or any days that she is free from work, she is told to be home and takes care her kids... When he wants to go out, he just tells her but when she wants to go out, she must ask for permission that sometime she is allowed and is often rejected. She has no single time left for herself.... Is she or him or her family that is not understandable? They all say that she won't understand them... 

Her Mom isn't the case, she should even do more for her Mom since her Mom raised her so hard until her today and even helped take caring her kids... BUT, her husband!!! She real doesn't understand her husband, does he love her? She feel he is just so selfish... 

He even can talk to her roughly but if she responds that same roughly, argument always occurs... 

He wants her to earn as much as she could and he can do whatever he wants to do... 

He always wants her to do this and that, yet, he says that she never understands him even though she does always follow his words in the purpose to maintain this family... When will he feel enough toward what she has been doing for this family so far? Or is it until her last breath?

There must be no LOVE within his heart... She doesn't think any men would want their loving ladies to be difficult... 

He never ever understand her efforts...

Over 5 years of marriage life, all she mostly hear, she is not good at all...