Panic Moments

This last two weeks of the month- December is the remarkable time!

First, my second son who has been sent to treat in hospital after 1 week, I requested the doctor to leave. Of course, the doctor idea is preferable for me to continue to stay a few days more but I saw my son was already better even he wasn't 100% recover but he seemed okay. Thus, I did missing my room, my home. Staying at hospital, I really went through a lot of boring and unpleasant time. Then, my request became successful.

Backing home, I was extremely happy as dancing along with the beautiful music. Yeah, excited! However, 8.00 pm arrived that my second son illness re-started and it's badly than the previous one. Until 2.30 am in the morning, I cannot wait more and went back to hospital. Though, I still needed to wait until working hours of 7.00 am. My son body's became so soft and he seemed unconscious that even I tried to shake him, he still had no reaction. My tears started falling down none stop and no shamed even there were hundred people around me... Urgently meeting with doctor, after checkup, actually my son was just damn tired from sick and fell asleep. Oh God! In addition, coz of my stubborn attitude to against the doctor's advice for still insisted to leave hospital and finally was back so; I got much blame from all including my family, relatives, the ones who heard about this and especially the doctor and nurses there... Well, I accepted all coz it was really my improper decision.

At the same time, my hubby was sick too and so did me. Whatever, I still needed to come to work coz it has been 1 week already that I asked for permission. I'm sick but daytime I need to work and night time I need to take care my second baby. Last night, my health was much an issue that I cannot stay alone. My husband came to hospital at 10.00 pm to take care me and my second son; kept the first son with grandparents. Yeah, I have my Mom to help me by accompany my second son at hospital this week since I am already back to work . Unfortunately, she could help at hospital only 1.5 days and she became sick that must be back home and relax; so pity her. My husband went to the hospital to accompany my son somehow he isn't fully recover.

More than words, my healthy first son was strangely sick urgently. He remained vomiting and cannot eat anything even the liquid food. His heat was up and up too. Whatever, at first he still could play this and that which just around 4.00 pm, he stopped doing anything, vomited more and more and lay down with very pale face. My Mom was very shocked; she was crying so much coz of worry! Later, my son was sent to a Clinic and he got Food Poisoning (the doctor said). Poor him! Until this morning, he isn't much better yet. Oh life! My Mom is home for relaxing but coz situation was changed, she has no choice beside takes caring my first son instead of me and so do the rest of my family members; help each other to take care my little first son.

I just wonder.... what are more gonna happen to my family?????????????

Uhmm.... such the worse moments of the year!

Times spent in hospital...

Kontheak Bopha Hospital is where offers the free charge of fee to cure under 15 years old children. Well, I have been here twice already with my second son of just now is 6 months old. First time, we spent only 2 nights and left. However, now is 4 nights that flew and it's no exact confirm of how long we would be required to stay...due to unstable health condition of my baby. Every seconds staying here is flying very slow to me... Uhmmm, I feel hard to breathe and live here...just coz I feel disgusted to almost of things...including eating here, using this public bathroom and toilet, sleeping here, breathing here...virus! I feel there are virus everywhere; though, here is much clean and hygiene if compare to other public hospitals... You know, coz I then still need to be here, all I can do, is to ignore the negativity in my thought and keep living the way other live. They can, I can!!!

Staying here, I met a lot of women whom is called mothers to their child... They are:

- A grandma who is just 35 with her grand-daughter of 5 months and around 18 mommy! They are so funny...lol

- A mother who is only 27 years old but has 5 children, the oldest kid of around 8 years... She said no one help her to feed and take care her kids but only her and her kid's daddy! Oh ma! My both kids, I get the big help from my mom and I still don't wanna live sometime just coz it is so rough while having them...lol

- A young countryside  mom who is 16 years old or something... Nurse prepared document for her kid and asked what her husband name is and she replied, she didn't know his name nor who he was. She said she met him only once during Phcum Ben days... We all heard it and recognized speechlessly... =='

- Most of them, the parenthood are from provinces, occupation of the farmer, worker, housewife, bread seller, drinks seller, recycle collector, cleaner... They are mostly black and brown...(the people who were around my bed). Seeing them, I first felt discriminated; I know I'm not rich nor white...but I  just felt so...hehehe but you know, they are so so so helpful! I didn't even ask for their help but they came to help me themselves with honesty and generosity! Uhmmm, they are real naive...

- A 35 years old mom who has 6 children, 7 years old son the oldest. She told us she has only 15000 Riel for traveling from province to here to cure her a few months old baby. She is quite poor! During her kid's treatment time, she always begs for food from her surrounding people... Actually, her husband also has an acceptable job and can support her and kids living well; just the problem is that he doesn't care the family! He doesn't give her the money, he handles it himself. He is a professional drinker! Everyday that he is drunk! By the way, this mommy lost two of her kids. One was falling from the bed and die while she was farming. Another, she kept with her hubby to take care when she went to the field and that baby cried until dead coz his dad didn't take any attention. Die in front of his own dad and he acted as nothing happened; she said. So she current has only 4 kids and her two years old child is having brain illness and she has no ability to cure even it is free from this hospital coz she has no supported budget to travel and eat during time in hospital. She said Doctor once told her, this kid would be die soon if she won't take action... She still keeps do nothing...to me, I feel her this kid is living only for his dead...hmmmm. We asked her if it is so hard in living so, why she keep having baby? She said her husband won't listen to her, whenever he wants sex, she must....even after she deliver and she still is extremely weak... Oh lord, poor her and her kids! I suggest her to divorce (I'm so bitchy lol) and she just smiled... Worse loving-fate does exist! X(

In addition, even the doctors and nurses... Some looks nice but bad mouthing and care us lessly ...***sight**** meantime, some look so mean and even bad mouthing too but have very kind heart! Ohhohhh, that main Doctor is white, middle age, wear glasses, tall, handsome, knowledgeable, nice words and even humble! So charming! But he already got married lol... By the way, there is another tall handsome Doctor but a bit black and his face....Uhmmm.... Hehehe really deserved some punches! My first time here, he blamed me and asked how old I was?! Too young that don't know how to care baby properly... But this second time, he may forget me and asked...how many children I have.. I said two... He seemed surprised and said, just two???? After, he stopped saying any more....but...but...why!??? I looked so old? Or coz of my this super fat body is suitable for 7 children or what???? Yis!!!! 

------my Christmas time this year of 2015, hospital&blog------- jobbb sa'artt! XD  

No Money---- No Life!

I gonna proof of why is No Money, No Life....
Have you ever heard the quote "No Money; No Honey"?

Uhmm, Lets start from this quote... You know....
No money, no honey;
No honey, no marry;
No marry, no baby;
No baby, life's empty;
Life's empty, unreasonable worry;
Unreasonable worry, become frenzy;
Become frenzy, commit suicide;
Commit suicide, DIE.

Then, make sure you have money or you will be ended DIE.
Agree???
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^^ I'm just joking around; somehow, find out the answer by yourself! =))

ទីបំផុត (ហេង​ ពិទូរ) Ti Bom Pot by Heng Pitou

Ti Bom Pot by Heng Pitou

This is the newest song that is very popular by most of Cambodian people; especially the teenagers and early adults. Well, it is popular coz it is the original song that was written by this singer directly without any copy from anyone.

To me, I just was so awkward during watching this video; plus its lyric as well. I'm shocked...lol... Just because the main actress seems copy all my saying words that always exist when I'm in war with my man. Thus, even the way the performed.... Oh God!!! It's quite the same!

Questions:

1. Did they investigate secretly about my family? So that they could copy almost of my words ...

2. Then, my family argument is that popular to make them interested?

3. This video make sense, doesn't it?

Last question...

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4. Would I and my man also end up as this video????

------is loading the answers------

Christmas 2015 is coming!

Ohohohoh…..
Christmas is coming…

Most of people are chilly and wishing,

For happiness or be blessing,

For the New Year 2016 that is upcoming.

Oh, Santa! Are you real or just like a dream?

Would you bring us the wishes we are whispering?

Or would you send the gifts per what we think?

Yeaaaa…. I’m always wondering,

If this would be happening.

Grandpa Santa please,

If you don’t gain me the wishes,

Or give me the gifts,

Maybe, I won’t have bliss,

For this history day of the birth of Christ.

Ahhh…Santa; don’t tell me, you think of my hubby;

Expect him to give me the memory,

Of getting gift or special time for his lady,

It is not that easily,

Hahahaa…. He may afraid it gonna drive me silly… XD

By the way, lets me sing my Christmas song of each every year…

“We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year!!!

Jingle bells jingle bells

jingle all the way!

Oh what fun

it is to ride

In a one horse open sleigh, Hey!”

Lol… be honest, I always think this is only one song but actually it is from two different songs… “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and “Jingle Bells”

Be kiddy every year, oh pity ME! =))

WOMAN ME

Woman, hearing “woman” word…what do you think of the definition?

Woman, has a lot of definitions to me since it isn’t that easily to set the default one… lol

Even my own self, sometime I’m just doubtful if what I do want the most… hehehe…

When I and my man are around each other...

We are often fighting… teasing each other in term of mental violent...

He even rarely shows his love toward me… I’m a bit lonely and he seems doesn’t tend to know…

I feel I always meet metal offense…lol

I wish we would separate sometime to gain peace…

All I want is Love or at least Peace!

When we are in reality of being away from each other….

First day, I feel…”wow! It’s so peaceful!” ^^

Several next days, uhhhh…. But I don’t really like somewhere is that silent so…. ?_?

Especially; no him, everything I need to do only by myself,

Take care the both kids, washing milk bottle, clothes, bathing them, feed them,  give them medicine…etc, nahhh…. I’m so exhausted! I already spend my almost 10 hours at work and need to back home early to do these and those none stop; thus, full night keep an eye on them if they need milk? Going to toilet? Oh no!!! They have nightmare? Cuddle and whisper any songs until they are asleep so I can too….

I feel envy…why am I so tired and he can enjoy abroad time freely?

He should come early! Why the days seem moving very slow so?!

I feel I meet indirectly physical offense… XP

All I want now is Time to relax!

The day he comes back is coming…

I’m like…huhhhh??? What??? He will be back soon?

I didn’t really notice after day by day I’m working as an animal…

I feel I already could get used to…

Why he come back so early? (Actually he just come back per exact schedule)

I hate him!

All I want at this state is slower the day moving!!!

Finally, he comes back! On the arrival day, I’m just like….

Whatttttt???? so fast so fast the day is moving…

Can’t it then be a bit slower with the time moving?

I don’t feel good to meet him…

Feeling as his face’s deserved some punches…

I though, still then stand there at the Arrival Place for him, >__<’

My bigger son is so excited to wait for his daddy’s presence…

He keeps standing among crowed people with his grandpa for his daddy,

Where is me? Lol… I’m there on the bench, sitting only with my 5 months old kid and enjoy night view…lol

All I want here is the Sleep, I’m so sleepy at this hour of almost mid night!

Back home be like….

He said…ehhh honey, see what I bring for you!

Me: I’m so sleepy… Let’s see it tomorrow…

Him: Here! Nice?

Me: I’m really sleepy nah… (but I already sit next to him! ***ashamed*** ^^’)

Why girls always want gift??!! :D

Him: love?

Me: why? Why? So many!!!! You’re such wasting uselessly!

“But I did smile for those gifts =))”

Him: yersss…sure, I spent all the money without any belonging to me! =_=’

However, all I want now isn’t only the gifts but MONEY! Hehehe

In short, what do I want exactly? Who is really me?

+++Out of Ideas+++

+++Endless Desires+++

Tell me please! Why can’t I get completed set?

I live here in this human world for almost 26 years now…. Base on my experience in this world, I do doubt of why I’m always required to select the choices for my life? I never can get the full set one…

Oh Lord, I want to complain! Why do you treat me so??? hmmm…lol

I was asked to select only a choice among:

*PARENTS

1. Fussy, sometime also seem annoying (^,<), nahhh…actually love never ever lose for their children…

2. Nicely, generously, rich but no any time for their children…No time to be fussy nor argue....

>>>Hehehe… I don’t like silent world without love, I always want 1^st choice!

*SIBLINGS

1. Respect each sibling; know what is right & what is wrong… mature but seems a bit far distant to each one!

2. Fighting with each other both words or even sometime hands and legs XD; always want to be the right side….childish! Need time to be growing together…

>>>Repeatedly, I love noisy world… if I select one, nothing is excited! lol

*BEAUTY
1. Elegant Body + normal voice + ugly face

2. Fatty Body + sweet voice + cute face

>>>So I chose 2^nd choice! =_=

*EDUCATION

1. Always get good grade, studying hard, popular outstanding students

2. Have intelligence from birth but never study hard nor getting good grade and popular by extremely talkative in class

>>>Nahhh….this one you didn’t ask me to choose but offer me the 2^nd choice! Herssssss!

*FRIENDSHIP

1. Long Term, never forget each other but not that very sweet (arguments often exist)

2. Beautiful words, seems very closed, no arguments but short term

>>>I chose the 1^st…

*WORK

1. Good work, good boss, good teamwork but low salary

2. High salary, good work but ordinary boss + ordinary or can be negative teamwork

>>>I didn’t even consider much but quickly put money as priority! Selected 2^nd! ^^

*SNEHA (LOVE)

1. Chocolate love wordings man, show the world of his love, good education & attitude but so-so appearance and don’t really think of married!

2. Say no to sweet love wording, seems shy, can be said arrogant Prince’s attitude, education is okay but good appearance and show love by asking for married

>>>Hehehe, I choose married! I always thought it is the most safe and stable love world….

*MY CHILDREN

1. Talkative, smart but not cute

2. Cute, smart but not talkative…

>>>I want cute smart children and love speaking a lot too… but this choice doesn’t exist… So, chose 2^nd! Let’s be cute together my kids! gagaga

* PARENTS-IN-LAW

1. Fair living condition level but daughter in law to them is almost alike their birth-daughter…

2. Very rich but consider daughter in law just still alike none-relatives

>>>Can’t I meet very rich parents in law who deeply love me? Hmmm…. I’m not really allowed to mix these two choices together… Then, I selected 1^st choice… Love!

To all above choices, I should be allowed to select only the good points… I trust that, the Lord, you obviously know what my real favorites are. Though, you still mix my favorites with the negative points… You! You have intention to put me going through barriers of life, right?

I’m tired now; tired of all the points that I chose which include the negative parts… Especially, I’m quite tired with my man for none love showing to me and the world as well….

Oun hort…

Louch Sne Doung Chan

Recently is just mad with this song; "Louch Sne Doung Chan", the new cover one. However, I love only the half first while the half last, the rap part...just feel it's a bit harsh... lol

*** The beginning of this song brings me some unique feeling from the old time...the old me... Let's enjoy!

All in all, I'm just FINE!

I'm fine, you know? 
It's nothing big...
I only cry while listen to the sad songs,
And just cry by listening and watching the sweet scene,
I'm just sobbing listening to the confessing love's words,
Back then, I'm fine...
I'll try to be this fine as long as possible...
Even actually my heart seems already broke into pieces,
My tears are just falling down while writing here,
Yeahh... I'm not seriously until dead,
I'm still living,
I'm still breathing,
Even though, I'm feeling like I'm dying while living,
Don't confuse if I'm silly,
I'm not at all, 
I'm just fine in the wrong way,
I'm just living day by day,
In the environment I never dream of,
Uhmmm, I can't feel of love lately,
I'm alike breathless whenever thinking of this,
Go and back, nothing I think I can do,
Many related stories tie me,
Just the way I cannot leave this world easily,
Even if I sometime decide to be,
I have no choice,
But to act and to tell myself,
It's okay, I'm fine!

All I want is LOVE.... I feel I lost it long time enough... I just guess I may meet LOVE again if I can leave this world... or I will live better if this world fulfill with LOVE toward me again...

I have LOVE for this world but this world seems have NONE LOVE FOR ME!

UHMMM, I SHOULD BE FINE... :'[

Pray for all the loss of lives!

I would like to pray for all the loss of the lives over the world.. Please accept my deepest sympathy....

Before I could say "Pray for our world", my pray was dedicated to the French people only...and something has changed me....

Last several days, there was a terrorist attacks in Paris, France. There were shooting, bombing which caused more than one hundred people died; plus, more than four hundred people were sending to the hospital from their injuries during that time. The French President announced the state of emergency. The media around the world reported this news. People all over the world knew it and we did feeling sad and regret for the loss; including me and many people in my country. I saw an application in Facebook for changing our profile picture into French Flat to show our condolences... I did it!

However, a big part of reaction to our sympathy of the loss of French was seen in many different ways... First, I thought they were too much for even jealous about this kinda stuff. Though, later I found it would really hurtful for someone who met the same or even worse circumstance but got no awareness or the same treat as another party... Uhmmm.... whatever, they still cannot put much blame on the people who felt sad for French people... Just like me, I really cannot see everything all over the world until media brings me those news.... That's why I have no clues... Last but not least, their reaction of unpleasant mood to the idea of putting the French flat for the pray, it seems such in the big pain... Both to the person who speaks and the listener...as me....

This is our current world... Such the influence of being poor vs being rich!

 

Selfie cud make me cry...

The same question that I try to raise up for exploring the answer from him....
"Why do you always tend not to take selfie with me? Or any photos together? " is my question to him...
His first time answer, "Are you too free to just even mind about this type of stuff?"
Second time answer, "the same answer, plus, I'm so sleepy, can u just stop this stupid question?"
Third time....
Me: I still wonder why? Why can't be me but our kids do okay?"
Him: I can't imagine you can even jealous with our children...blah blah blah"

He keeps ignoring to answer me while I keep exploring for the answer....
Today, forth time....
Me: Tell me why? Help me to erase my doubt please!
Him: what's wrong in your body?
Me: Answer me and I will never ask you again...
Him: Nothing, just I dislike selfie or photo capturing....
Me: Then why could you take photos with our kids? Selfie with your friends and even selfie with that group of ladies?
Him: check my phone? X( Well, I just take and they come in by themselves....
Me: Really? And why it can't be me? Why can be your kids, your both gender of friends;however, no me or even if I wanna selfie with you, always exists no smile on your face?
Him: Why? Why do you keep stepping on my words, my answer?
Me: Coz you still don't give me real answer that I need...juz want something truely even if it is may sad me....
Him: What do you expect to hear? I will follow your desired answer... I really don't know why either but I do dislike selfie and photo shooting...
Me: ohhhh then everyone is okay but except me?
Him: I don't know...really don't know...okay okay let's it be so....I go to sleep now then....
Me: I'm do hurt.... *crying* you just got no clue of why...only know it can't be me...***crying***

Conversation ended and I'm still crying 30 mins now and he fell a sleep around 20mins already while is snoring noisily! Quite comfortable he is! Damn feeling bad I am.... He cares none about me though I'm still crying here coz  of him....
He repeatly says that is a tiny thing that I can even bring to argument....
-----speechless-----

He doesn't know or what? Love starts from all every tiny caring, loving and closing to each other...
He shouldn't hurt me just for this type of story...why asked for marry me then? I thought Coz I may his the most adorable girl... Time by time, just the more and the more I feel I may only his s**toy, the method he could get his blooded children... And a reliable part of income to feed his children...

I'm just nothing....
#crying#behideexpectation#feelingdown#somethingstuckmybreath!!!!

Was Me but not Current Me...lol

Uhmmm….hehehehe…. I last few days was moving my working desk and of course, I found an A4 document in Khmer Language which I tended to throw it into to rubbish bin but I noticed it was my hand writing letters. So, I kept a spot there and was reading if what it was exactly… Ah ha, hehehe… I felt blushing during reading… the answers of mine to those questions in that A4 document was just too clear as the reflection to the mirror…show to the point of what is my most desire of life….lol… “Money!!!!” I was too straight to share about these kinda ideas… I was damn brave to say it out… Thus, I was quite high self-esteem, very confident and really had high spirit of encouragement, motivation, loves and hope!!!

I almost couldn’t believe that was me… if comparing to my pity me currently… I feel I already lost those types of personality…lol

See the following detail:

Should be thanks or hatred?

Sometime, people is too complicated,

Being once good and that bad to another person,

And it all which I’m quite hesitated,

If what should I react?

Someone who’s actually seen closed to me,

But when something I would love to get, it comes to me,

That someone is trying to disturb,

Yeahhh, really put all the effort to stop my desire.

Though, when my desire still fates to be with me,

That someone changed and back to facilitate my way,

That someone seems helping me,

Make me feel…”oh, I was wrong to see you that evil..”

Facilitate my way but don’t make it clear for me,

There are multi questions I wanna hear the answer,

That someone seems hesitate to make it transparent,

Then, just keep going around and around.

Time is moving none stop to the deadline,

Why do you still tend not to answer me?

First you said you are busy,

Next, you said you are feeling uneasy.

All in all, I still cannot clear my doubt yet,

Coz of your up and down mood,

You said you even help me related to my economy,

My another hesitation, is it really?

I’m sorry if you are really helping me,

Just your action somehow showing as no,

Later is showing as yes,

Showing as I’m that closed and I’m also just nothing.

I & you share each other most of personal stuff,

Just I felt there were some of your lies

I might be pessimistic again,

And that is the reflection of your action to me.

I told myself to react as princess,

Or will be as an evil witch,

It gonna depend on how people treat me,

Finally run to you, what kind of person exactly are you?

Should I treat you once as good and once as bad,

Per the way you keep changing?

Nooo….noo… I’m not that unstable person,

That’s why I damn difficult to decide.

I wish to see your real you better than the painting you… Don’t act as both the closed one and the unknown person…okkkk?

Cheating words

You were not a stranger to my family but me,
One day you came to my life,
You were showing love toward this kiddy,
You showed you wanna be with me for eternity,
Uhmmm, I also had good feeling for you,
Just I cannot accept immediately,
Wanna show you first who is exactly me,
I told you I love eating fast food,
I told you I'm stubborn,
I told you I'm not a completed girly coz I don't know how to cook,
I told you I'm not that type of someone's under controlled,
I told you about my past,
I told you everything of all my bad habits, bad points...
And you were saying those all were fine to you,
It won't matter at all,
I fell in love easily then coz I trusted your words,
Our relationship started,
Of course, you could deal very smoothly with those lacking parts of me,
We finally became family!
Though, from day to day, you were changing...
You won't anymore satisfied to eat fast food with me,
You told me you dislike it,
Then you started complaining on my stubborn attitude,
While today you are fucking mad with me,
Coz I never care cooking nor try to improve it but only you,
You yell at me, you mock me,
I am too much angry!!!!
You changed and your words to me, your promise are changing,
They are in the future, will keep changing from one to another one, huh???
Why???? Why??? Why???
Such the cheating words!!!!!
If you cannot purely accept me,
Just be real to yourself and say it,
Coz while you try to ignor those points for being together,
Your this mistakes may keep hurting you,
Especially, this drag me to be suffering too,
You know, it's such a worse pain to me,
I confess I keep thinking what if we decide to be a part,
Would we get a better time, the happiness for our living????

I'm that stupid who trust you are sincere in those words saying...
Well...you aren't that wrong but I'm just so silly to believe...
***ishurtingdamnhurt***

Let’s me go; let’s me FREE!

I’m just working normally with my ordinary life… Suddenly, the powerful management of the company comes to me… He opens the new company and wants me to go there… he is trying to persuade me… tight me with many things of both huge salary packet and best working condition… Unluckily, it is not the job that I want… First, I do afraid of him and agree… However, just start with that new job for two days, my emotion reveals… and I do dislike that job… the power of my dislike is much more larger than the scary of mine to his power…  Of course, I ask him to come back and continue my previous job… Hope he would not mind me… Is it possible?

Well, well…it may so hard to understand, right? Let’s me compare into the example…

The powerful management = the dad

Me= the daughter of that dad

New job= the rich man

Once you are enjoyable with your current life…. Then your dad suggests you to marry a rich man… though you don’t love him at all… whatever, because he is your dad…so his command, you must follow… After, you decide to listen to him… You start getting to know that rich guy… Shortly, you find out you really don’t like him at all…no even Like…how to love?! What would happen if you decide to marry him as your dad’s need? Married without love is nothing but awful life… As a result, you would really become strong, stand up and tell him of what you want… The dad may cut off the relation with you if he is the strict one…

This is my condition now…. Trying to fight and get back of what I want… Would I be safe to reject him on new job and still working here while he is still my big management?

The special parts during maternity leave!

What is your special part or feeling during your maternity leave?

Well, I don't wanna talk about how hard I have been going through during this time yet but let's me share you of the best side I appreciate...

I'm just feeling like I don't wanna go back to work after 3 months maternity leave since the feeling of being a real mom is quite awesome! Of course, I already have a son of around 3 years old but since he was born, I don't really have much time to be with him nor well take caring him..I'm stuck in working and earning money... Until my second son was born, I won't lets my mom to help me that much as my first son but I'm the one who always be next to him... It's damn tired once I need to take care them both alone so...somedays, my body is extremely exhausted and in pain but my feeling is doing quite good...coz I think this is what mom should do for their kids... I love all those hundreds times of being called to answer YES from my first son... I love when he angry someone and come to  complaint to insisting me to find justice for him lol and I love the way he kisses and hugs me with a lot of loves...Thus, the feeling of being silly in playing with him...hehehe...Though, I don't think if I also love when he is wresting with me...uchhh...it's hurt! =.=

Anther special part that I love this time and don't wanna go back to work is that... I don't need to care of how I dress...lol... Just wear the very loose suits... I don't need to wear bra nor underwears ^^*
I don't need to comb my hair if I don't want... I don care of my face... Don't need to apply powder, use lipstick nor eyesliner...especially, I don't feel ashamed of my appearance because in my kids' eyes, I know I'm the most beautiful queen, the most wonderful mom to them!!! ^^

Then, I don't wanna back to work at all...only if my family could live happily without money! Uhmmm....

A Fate with Dogs in spiritual way…

In Khmer’s belief, dreaming about dog is referring to your connection to the spirit or soul because it is believed that dog is the representative of ghost. So, if you see the dog in your dream, make sure you protect yourself well from being attacked or you will have bad luck… something like getting sick or meet any failure…

I remember I never dreamt of the dog until before I got married for a while, I started seeing in my dream in many different types. However, that spirit which hides in the dog’s physic was coming to be my guard, my protector… Really appreciate…hehehe

The first time I saw the dog in my dream was a black dog that could speak human language and asking me to lets him stay with me while I agreed… But that common black dog was not only able to speak, he could transform into human body too… a thin tall young and white guy…lol… cute! He was kinda the same age as me… That time, he was that rough to me but actually was trying to avoid me from a disaster of falling into the river… That was my first time as well to write an article saying about this type of dream…

http://relladequeen.blogspot.com/2012/01/miracle-man-in-my-dream.html

Secondly, I dreamt I was walking in a silent huge and dark forest alone… quite scary… I walked very fast without knowing any destination. I only walked without turning around just because I was afraid of seeing something I didn’t wish to see… But then, I heard a voice said… “FOLLOW ME!” I turned to find that voice and saw no human but a big dog which also similar a wolf… It’s words had power on me that I tried to follow it through that big forest… we went straight, turned left, turn right… I didn’t remember how many times it was but then, I saw a hole which allowed some bright came in that dark forest… I ran toward it and tried to get over the bright hole…as a result, I could come back to the ordinary world of human…but nah…my guidance disappeared…

Lately, it happened in my dream again… I was visiting in the mysterious temple… Then, something was such a beast came out… it tried to attack me… I was running quite fast… quite frightening… until I fell down to the ground… that beast came closer and closer… I was closing my eyes as I thought I would be ended here… That guidance appeared again… in the hug body of such a wolf and stood in front of me bravely with its cruel roaring… that beast was afraid of this wolf… and turned back… the wolf talked to me again… “HURRY, COME WITH ME BEFORE THAT BEAST CHANGES ITS MIND”. Ahhh…ahh…can speak again… What would I react? Lol…nothing at all but tried all my best to follow that wolf… We left that temple and entered the forest… kept running following that wolf until we reached a cottage… the wolf entered that place and walked into the kitchen… and when I entered that cottage too, I saw around 10 monks, several were doing mediation and several more were having meal… so I was invited to sit and having meal with them… I accepted, lol…too tired and starved… I wondered why that wolf seemed silent in the kitchen… but suddenly a handsome guy with such so tall and strong body came out… no doubt, transforming again… lol

Other night later on, I saw myself was staying home… I was walking and playing in the courtyard and I saw that my house’s gate had been opened… I walked toward there to close it but I didn’t even reach the gate yet, a few starving dogs existed… They walked toward me slowly and roughly with mouthwatering as wanna take me as their food… I turned my steps backward… Simultaneously, my white small dog with long soft hair came out… she started her barking crazily… Well, she tried to protect me and I didn’t know why, those wild dogs seemed afraid of her… seemed regret and turned back to leave my house… If compare her size to them and they even came in peer so… I didn’t expect they would leave… though, they were and she was saving me…

My last dream recently was about the dogs as well... I saw my two sons… one was around 3 years old and another was under 1 year old (actually, the second one isn’t born yet!), they both were playing around but then they went to play in someone’s garden… immediately there was a man appeared… he looked like the gardener but his facial expression wasn’t that normal person… well, such a witch…he locked all the door of the garden just likely to block my sons in there and he did something spiritual which turn my boys into puppies.. It may a curse to my boys for interfering his land… I was behind something that could avoid him to see me… Although, after seeing this, I felt quite shocked… quite worried… I ran toward that strange guy and tried to help my sons but he was trying to block me in too… No choice beside I tried to escape from him and tried to run to find people for help… I after saw a group of several cool good looking men who were chuckling and chatting on their luxury red sport car… I asked them for help while I was so exhausted from escaping… I couldn’t even breathe well… I knew my words were very difficult to understand but they could catch it very accurately as they were my friends that could understand me even without words… They all ran very fast to that garden and just around 10 seconds of their fast running, they all turned into the wild tall big dog-wolf… Their roar, their bark frightened the witch gardener and pushed that guy to run a way… They then took my puppies sons to me and when my sons came into my hug, they finally were back to human body… I said thanks to them with all my pure heart and wet tearing eyes…

Thank you so much, extremely a big thank to all my mates of this miracle and spiritual dog-human for always be there to help and recuse me, my family members as well from all the dangers!!!

Several Funny Married Quote XD

ស្នេហាអាយុ៧០ថ្ងៃ

=_____________________="

I & U during raining...

Now it is raining…

What if I were…

In the neat and beautiful room… everything is well prepared very simply but damn comfortable… the in front part of the room has a very big transparent glass door… In side nearing there, is a soft sofa… The view outside the room is the fresh green one of many types of trees which stand still on the mountain… Yeah… this house, this room is next to mountain…

Raining starts dropping down so much… The nature is dancing per raining rhythm…  and it seems the way to clean our nature to be greener and fresher…  There is a lady who is standing next to that glass door while it is opened a half… she hugs herself with her both hands… looking far outside and smiling… enjoy the nature during the rain… when it is colder and colder…

Without acknowledgment, a soft warm cloth is wrapped on her shoulder… “Take care honey, it is so cold…”, a tall man is talking… She turns back and smiles… He then cuddles her from the back, lets his chin stays on her shoulder and they both keep  talking none stop of this and that… We could see their unlimited happiness smile and warmth exist on their face… They also kiss each other… Spending their time enjoyable during the rain and overwhelm with the fresh nature around them.

Well, it is not too much for this imagination… I just want this moment sometime in my life… 

A Fool Love

A boy was dating a girl who always hurt him. One day, she broke up with him and told him, "I don't ever want to see you again."

A few months later, the girl had a change of heart. She realized that she loved the boy, so she went back and said to him, "Give me just one more chance. I love you and I need you. I promise that I will never hurt you again."

But the boy just laughed and said to her, "Only a fool would take back someone who hurt them so much."

The girl felt hopeless and began to cry, but the boy put his arms around her, held her tightly and said, "...and I am one of those fools."

Love is blind... Love is a fool... But then, Love is that happiness! :'>

Twerk It Like Miley

Twerk It Like Miley

By Brandon Beal feat. Christopher

LYRIC

Hey, girl, this yo song, let's see that padonkadondon

I'mma try to do the things that you don't

Baby, it's yo party, I just wanna play

What's that sound? What's that thang that's got me like wow?

I'm tryna beat beat it up twelve rounds

Girl, look at that body, I just gotta say

(Pre-Chorus)

When you back back back back back it up

And you drop it down low

And you pick pick pick pick pick it up

Girl, I'm ready to blow

I'mma stack stack stack stack stack it up

And I'm spending it all

When I throw throw throw throw it up

(Chorus x6)

Start twerkin' like Miley

(Verse)

You got everybody in this club lookin' at you girl

How you move that thing from side to side

Fuck everybody in this club, cause I got you girl

I'mma tell you what's goin' down tonight

Girl, it's gon' rain, that's that sound

That's that shit that's got you like wow

And would you let me beat beat twelve rounds

Baby, look at that body, I just gotta say

(Pre-Chorus)

You back back back back back it up

And you drop it down low

And you pick pick pick pick pick it up

Girl, I'm ready to blow

I'mma stack stack stack stack stack it up

And I'm spending it all

When I throw throw throw throw it up

(Chorus x3)

Start twerkin' like Miley

I know you wore them jeans

so I can see that thong thong thong thong thong

thong thong thong thong thong

pop it like Miley

And don't forget that tongue tongue tongue tongue

tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue

Twenty more shots then I pass out

but that's what I'm aiming for

Baby, let me drown

when I wake up, I'm still in the club

Looking at the DJ, like turn my shit up, oh

So when the beat beat beat beat beat drops

get your ass on the floor

Start twerk it like Miley

Start twerk it like Miley

Start twerk it like Miley

Start twerk it like Miley

Right beside me

GO