Should be thanks or hatred?

Sometime, people is too complicated,

Being once good and that bad to another person,

And it all which I’m quite hesitated,

If what should I react?

Someone who’s actually seen closed to me,

But when something I would love to get, it comes to me,

That someone is trying to disturb,

Yeahhh, really put all the effort to stop my desire.

Though, when my desire still fates to be with me,

That someone changed and back to facilitate my way,

That someone seems helping me,

Make me feel…”oh, I was wrong to see you that evil..”

Facilitate my way but don’t make it clear for me,

There are multi questions I wanna hear the answer,

That someone seems hesitate to make it transparent,

Then, just keep going around and around.

Time is moving none stop to the deadline,

Why do you still tend not to answer me?

First you said you are busy,

Next, you said you are feeling uneasy.

All in all, I still cannot clear my doubt yet,

Coz of your up and down mood,

You said you even help me related to my economy,

My another hesitation, is it really?

I’m sorry if you are really helping me,

Just your action somehow showing as no,

Later is showing as yes,

Showing as I’m that closed and I’m also just nothing.

I & you share each other most of personal stuff,

Just I felt there were some of your lies

I might be pessimistic again,

And that is the reflection of your action to me.

I told myself to react as princess,

Or will be as an evil witch,

It gonna depend on how people treat me,

Finally run to you, what kind of person exactly are you?

Should I treat you once as good and once as bad,

Per the way you keep changing?

Nooo….noo… I’m not that unstable person,

That’s why I damn difficult to decide.

I wish to see your real you better than the painting you… Don’t act as both the closed one and the unknown person…okkkk?

Cheating words

You were not a stranger to my family but me,
One day you came to my life,
You were showing love toward this kiddy,
You showed you wanna be with me for eternity,
Uhmmm, I also had good feeling for you,
Just I cannot accept immediately,
Wanna show you first who is exactly me,
I told you I love eating fast food,
I told you I'm stubborn,
I told you I'm not a completed girly coz I don't know how to cook,
I told you I'm not that type of someone's under controlled,
I told you about my past,
I told you everything of all my bad habits, bad points...
And you were saying those all were fine to you,
It won't matter at all,
I fell in love easily then coz I trusted your words,
Our relationship started,
Of course, you could deal very smoothly with those lacking parts of me,
We finally became family!
Though, from day to day, you were changing...
You won't anymore satisfied to eat fast food with me,
You told me you dislike it,
Then you started complaining on my stubborn attitude,
While today you are fucking mad with me,
Coz I never care cooking nor try to improve it but only you,
You yell at me, you mock me,
I am too much angry!!!!
You changed and your words to me, your promise are changing,
They are in the future, will keep changing from one to another one, huh???
Why???? Why??? Why???
Such the cheating words!!!!!
If you cannot purely accept me,
Just be real to yourself and say it,
Coz while you try to ignor those points for being together,
Your this mistakes may keep hurting you,
Especially, this drag me to be suffering too,
You know, it's such a worse pain to me,
I confess I keep thinking what if we decide to be a part,
Would we get a better time, the happiness for our living????

I'm that stupid who trust you are sincere in those words saying...
Well...you aren't that wrong but I'm just so silly to believe...
***ishurtingdamnhurt***

Let’s me go; let’s me FREE!

I’m just working normally with my ordinary life… Suddenly, the powerful management of the company comes to me… He opens the new company and wants me to go there… he is trying to persuade me… tight me with many things of both huge salary packet and best working condition… Unluckily, it is not the job that I want… First, I do afraid of him and agree… However, just start with that new job for two days, my emotion reveals… and I do dislike that job… the power of my dislike is much more larger than the scary of mine to his power…  Of course, I ask him to come back and continue my previous job… Hope he would not mind me… Is it possible?

Well, well…it may so hard to understand, right? Let’s me compare into the example…

The powerful management = the dad

Me= the daughter of that dad

New job= the rich man

Once you are enjoyable with your current life…. Then your dad suggests you to marry a rich man… though you don’t love him at all… whatever, because he is your dad…so his command, you must follow… After, you decide to listen to him… You start getting to know that rich guy… Shortly, you find out you really don’t like him at all…no even Like…how to love?! What would happen if you decide to marry him as your dad’s need? Married without love is nothing but awful life… As a result, you would really become strong, stand up and tell him of what you want… The dad may cut off the relation with you if he is the strict one…

This is my condition now…. Trying to fight and get back of what I want… Would I be safe to reject him on new job and still working here while he is still my big management?