Mr. Protector

Well, after all my Mr. Perfect(s) disappeared from my fantasy dream world, there is replaced by another ordinary guy who keeps appearing in my recent multi dreams, the same guy!

That ordinary guy has strict long face but short chin, big eyes which seems drunken even he is not, sharp high nose and fair big lip. He has short eyelash, fair mustache, less beard and thick hair. He is brown, about 1.73 meters height and 70 kilograms or something. From the moment I met him until almost the last, he didn't smile at me at all. Due to his appearance, he is such a quality protector (he looks even scary sometime).

Most of time he appears in my dream; he often wear short trousers or short jeans which its length is about to his knees with T-shirt. Even he appeared in most of my dream recently; I still find it hard to remember all those dreams but last night………

I, Mr. Protector and two female of my colleagues (Vy and Da) were losing way in a forest. We were seeking for exit road. We saw a big group of people who were walking steadily without any talking. That why we gossiped as they looked like ghosts and we were laughing (“We” here, referred to I, Vy and Da only, Mr. Protector had no much reaction!). We were joking with our people, yet those uncommon people heard us, they stopped and turned back to us and transformed themselves into zombies. We were right even we didn’t really mean it and we were chased by those zombies.

We all were trying to escape by hiding in an ancient temple. More than shock, they found us! They walked toward us with grudge while we were stepping backward. I found something strange between me and those zombies… At that moment, they seem afraid of me and I didn’t know why. Though, later I found there was an old big long nail in my hand so I tried to confirm if they may afraid of me coz of it or what by showing that nail to their face. Of course, they were… When they saw it, they walked backward from me… I got hint, I used that nail to attack them and they real were destroyed. So, I told everyone as we can use the nails to protect ourselves. However, the number of those zombies was quite many that we won’t be strong enough to kill them all. We were trying to find way to leave that temple while no matter how many times we were leaving, we would just remain in that temple…Those zombies didn’t arrive yet, so we took a bit break. I laid on a statue with short breathing....

-------  “Never escape through the small space!”  ---------

This was what I heard lightly in my ears… I asked if anyone could talk a bit louder but no one understood what I was talking about. They said they didn’t even speak any single words… I automatically look at that ancient statue which was next to me awkwardly, this must be it…And I started thinking…

I told everyone, we should try to do something differently in order to escape from there. We had been trying to go through many doors while we still lost in the same temple so I suggested everyone to jump from the window of the temple instead (Those windows were strangely many times bigger than the door). My both colleagues rejected since the temple was on the mountain, they were afraid of hurting themselves but Mr. Protector agreed with me. Immediately, those zombies arrived! 

Mr. Protector pulled my hands and ran to jump from the window while my colleagues had no more choices and jumped after us… We all fell down from that top to the mountain’s foot but we didn’t feel any much hurt. To me, I fell and stopped by a small cottage which was for praying to get happiness during in the forest (Ktom-Nak-Ta). I stood up and went to pray for respect to that Nak-Ta and we all went to hide. The zombies followed us but they missed our hiding and went far away from us. We were safe!

We continued our adventure on that forest road…..

I was walking side by side with Mr. Protector. I felt safe to be next to him hehehe… There, we found a motorbike so Mr. Protector asked me to ride with him. He was the motor’s rider and I was at the back. The road was too rough, he asked me to hug him tight or I might fall down… I agreed! XD

The rough road finally reached an end but we met a start of new struggling, the high straight slope! We were told to go up to that slope in order to find the only exit way. Mr. Protector told me we had no choice, we must try if we wanna leave from this forest. I felt quite scared and so did my both colleagues, we had so small heart! Back and forth, we still chose to try… I closed my eyes and hugged him even tighter with such no confident… He controlled the engine and continued our way bravely. More and more, our motor almost went up straightly where finally the motor was falling down very fast and broke into pieces. I opened my eyes and cried with all effort to catch the grass there to balance myself not to fall down with the motor too! Mr. Protector, without thinking of himself, he lifted me up to the safe place with his only one arm and another arm was catching kinda tree’s roots. I didn’t know how he could do it but I real managed to go up to the top. I urgently was trying to pull him up too and I succeed to help him back. We both hugged each other with excitement and we looked around the place. The view was awesome, yet we saw another road which was next to this dangerous slope and it was such a safe one that could lead to the top; where we were standing as well. We looked at each other and laughed since we should be on that road, why did we choose this kinda death-calling-road instead? Heheheh… coz we didn’t know!

This was when we lost contact with my other two colleagues…

Mr. Protector hold my hand warmly and we continued our walking toward none stop. We were pleased with the view on the both sides of the road, there was no more harm and it leaded us into the high-class city. It was Phnom Penh City (but it was quite high-so that I cannot recognize that was Phnom Penh) and we were told we were from the road of Ratanak Kiri’s mountain…

Heheheh… I never knew before as there was a road from Ratanak Kiri’s mountain which connected to Phnom Penh by walking through the forest… XD

Last but not least, my this dream ended with safe and sound…

And Mr. Protector in this dream is my honey in real life! Hahahaha… But I cannot remember our relationship in the dream at all… It was great to fall for him again and again… ^_______^”

My special abilities...

I feel I lost some of my special abilities; i didn’t get any spiritual hints for something might happen in future as before.

Last week, I felt very normal, yet I fell sick badly and even almost got bad traffic accident.  I do wonder why I got no hints at all…

More than anything, I didn’t have any marvelous dreams as I ever had for such so long period. I’m madly missing all those moments, the moments when I was the top main actress, the beautiful, the wonderful, dramatically, romantic and be protected by my special guardian perfectly. I miss it, I want it back but I can do nothing coz I don’t know how to recall them… I’m a bit sad…nooo, I’m quite disappointed if all those real left me…

I hope to meet them at least sometime again… my spectacular dreams!

A Fail but A success

I got fail but I’m not unhappy… lol

My plan to work at new place was only 180 days but right now, it is over 200 days and I’m still here… Such the failed plan…

Though, I got success! I could feel and experience the desired working place that I in the past was always wishing for…

1. Too many works to do, such many problems to solve but all are under my control… 91% of my assigned job that I could accomplish…

2. My working outcome is appreciated… hehehe… not 100% but in a level that makes me feel good! ^^’

3. Humor and good teammates who dare to share, laugh more and to fight together. We are in one spirit for 85% lol

4. Hatred is still occur, yet there are a lot of loves and warmth

5. Working here, time does move too fast… It is ticking and ticking and Pay Day arrives quickly…lol

6. Such the big piles of jobs, however, whenever Leaving Hour arrives, we can leave… My management never minds about leaving on time until our job is well done step by step… She is very nice and here is so reliable...
7. Last of not least, too many works while yet I still could cheat sometime to update my lovable blog…hahahah… Life now is much fun! =))

Whatever, I understand there is no only good thing happens…

The most negativity here is my paid, too LOW!

Beside my paid, much appreciated to be here… I do enjoy current moments! XD

Actually, I heard there will be some changes soon; new head of management per my department would join shortly and I’m sure there will be restructured again. Good things won’t last forever but I trust there may not always the worse arrives…Maybe there is something even better, isn’t there? Hehehe….

Stay positive and be ready to fight! XD

WE ARE LOST

My Daddy is so sick with his stomach and is admitted to the Russia Hospital. A few examines and tests have been done, yet the final result isn’t out yet. The visitors who come to see Dad, they mostly have the hidden ideas that the symptom of my Dad is probably the cancer since the first examine, the red blood is lost in such a big amount… We all are very worried, Mom does cry a lot and we all wish nothing will be worse. The Buddha, the Lord does hear our praying, it is not cancer but the Stomach Ulcer and the doctor says this will be cured in one week. We are a bit feeling at ease…

My Mom is with Dad all days long, until one evening; she wants to be home for some checking and keeps my brother accompanying Dad instead. Well, it is the time I am there for Food delivery to them too. So, Mom comes back with me. Leaving the hospital, it is around 6pm but we have to walk to one nearby supermarket; Sovanna Supermarket since I leave my motorbike there. The street is much crowded; we both decide to go there by another road that we rarely walk through. At first, the sky is still clear but just after we walk on that road; the sky turns dark and darker until I cannot even see my Mom. Mom is terrified from this urge occurring… I tell her not to scare while I’m urging to find her and hold her hand tight. I tell Mom to use the flashlight in her bag. When the flashlight works, its light shows us there are a few people by the road’s pavement and they are sitting with alcohol drinking and talking. I and Mom are just quite panic to see them; we real see the road with no any people before it’s totally dark while those people also look panic to see us. I and Mom suppose to turn back; though, an old uncle there who is sitting and drinking, he advises us to continue our journey. He laughs and says that it wound not matter at all, it may seem scary but there are many people on this road. We believe him and we continue our walking. Mom is still feeling unsecured; I then turn on my phone’s flashlight to make it brighter. Immediately, we both almost walk straight to hit some people in front of us. Well, we both open our eyes big with such the questions… We certainly see no people but until my phone’s flashlight starts, we are only about 20cm distance from those people. Those people looks at us with none single words and they continue their walk oppositely from us. Mom hugs my arm with trembling and asks me whether they are people or ghosts. I tell her they must be people, it is only around 6.20pm, no any ghosts gonna show up and I laugh… Actually, I do think they are not people…hehehe…. They do look like zombie to me… They are pale, tasteless and look misery with no any much energy…

Uhmmm, we spend almost 40mins on this road but we still don’t end it yet and Mom asks me why… Oh Mom, I do feel scared much more she could estimate me… I just won’t show her coz it won’t help any but would cause Mom to be more worries… I wonder too, how come there is only the road and we see no any houses along the road’s both sides… In short, we see the road only from our flashlights too and everything is totally black… I then turn my phone’s flashlight to the right side that I almost make my phone falling down from my surprise… There is one grandma who is sweeping the rubbish in front of her house; yeah… there is house behind her… Oh my!!! What is this???? :O

That grandma looks at us calmly and then she smiles and tells us to continue our walk, just a bit more, we will reach where we plan to be… Aww, I and Mom don’t ask her yet and she could answer this, she must read our facial expression or read our inner doubts… God, I’m so scared!!!! I hug my Mom’s hand with my both palms while Mom shows her respect to grandma and move forward… We both walk quicker with no single thoughts anymore and only wish we would finish this road so soon…

Finally, we see a huge large shiny entrance and we run to it. We really come to our world and the street light also brightens the whole street as normal. It is around 7pm, so we spend almost 1 hour on that strange road. By the way, when we reach here and we turn back to see the road; it is just an ordinary road that we can see from side to side… Ehhh… What has been happening exactly? No matter how doubts we are, we won’t go there again…lol… We walk forward and try to analyze where we are… Around 10mins later, I could know where we are and it is so far from my Dad’s hospital. We are near Orrusey Market. We don’t mean to be here, oh lah… that dark road bring us to here. I tell Mom we may need to walk back to Sovanna Supermarket but then I remember I also have another motorbike at CityMall Supermarket. So we decide to go there, it is shorter.

This is the end of our tiring day, we are safe now and we can go anywhere we want. We just spend a bit time through the dark and fears.

That’s right, this is my dream! Lol… My blog full of stories mostly from my dreams… I confess I did think so much about life before my sleeping time. I wonder why I suffer from this life’s difficulties so much and I wonder how long it gonna take time to bring me to a fresh beautiful life with no much worry because I am not just stay still, do nothing and wish for the good life; but I do all my best, work-hard and save to the max but I am still in this poverty… I’m very stress about my pity life… I think and think until I fall asleep without self-knowing… And the dream starts this way…

The dream shows my Mom there too, I and Mom may have similar fate; we may go through such the creepy road of life but we both could overcome it from family support and encouragement with our strong willing to move on. We will find ourselves at new place that we don’t even suppose to be, the bright and secured world!  We are lost and we are ready to fight; we are successfully to find the way back!

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Hay… I don’t understand myself in dream… why don’t I park my motorbike in hospital but at supermarket nearby? Plus, how come do I have two motorbikes and even park at different supermarket? Hahaha… Or I would have another motorbike so soon, wouldn’t I? XD

Last 9 years….

I remembered it was my first year of the university… I was so excited, loved humor and saw the world very positively. I didn’t care any much at all, fresh graduated high school girl. Well, I met new friends, a lot of friends and we were so friendly to each other. There were not less that crushed me too, lol but mostly I would reject by acted normal or innocent.

And it was time I started knowing the world wasn’t that always beautiful…

There was a young boy who cared me, liked being around with me, praised me, inspired me and was doing so good to me. Of course, I liked him so much. He was not that handsome, yet he was very funny, quite strong and intelligent in studying. Though, later on; strangely without any reasons, he changed just as the new person… He avoided me, ignored me and looked at me with such so tasteless eyes... I didn’t know what to do, and all I was doing that time, I just lets things went as it wanted… I was so disappointed in him anyway…

Today, I checked my Gmail just because it increases to almost 10k email. Well, well, I didn’t check any much too, I actually mean to deleted most of them which link from some social medias and I found an email from that young boy last 9 years and…and… now I guess I know why he ignored me…

Here!!! Here:

hehehehe.... At this moment, I wonder if that time he confessed to me or threatened me exactly... Did he really ask me for suggestion? And coz I didn't know, he may thought I looked down on him or his words or what? Or he was upset coz I didn't reply him, wasn't him??!! So narrow-minded... lol... Back then, he was new graduated high school boy too, how come did he write such this text? hahahaha....

It became such the past that he may already forget but I just knew... Life is really something that full of mysterious...

Uhmmm... Yeah, I'm sorry for seeing your words this quite late Cat! You are so lovely and cute... XD If I saw it on time, maybe there would be any legends...hahahaha...

Value

A popular speaker started off a seminar by holding up a $20 bill. A crowd of 200 had gathered to hear him speak. He asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?”

200 hands went up.

He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He crumpled the bill up.

He then asked, “Who still wants it?”

All 200 hands were still raised.

“Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” Then he dropped the bill on the ground and stomped on it with his shoes.

He picked it up, and showed it to the crowd. The bill was all crumpled and dirty.

“Now who still wants it?”

All the hands still went up.

“My friends, I have just showed you a very important lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, life crumples us and grinds us into the dirt. We make bad decisions or deal with poor circumstances. We feel worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special – Don’t ever forget it!

Start from Elevator...

In the elevator of my work place, the door is almost closed but it is opened back by the interruption of a hand which is belonging to that handsome guy. He walks in, looks at me with such the regret sight… 

I start wondering his reaction and I start asking myself of what has been happening exactly? He then is walking toward me closer and closer until the closest distance and he bows his head along with his speech of “sorry…sorry…” I’m just more awkward of this occurring…He still continues saying sorry to me with his bow head and his head is touching my shoulder back and forth, just alike a little kid who is nagging for forgiveness… 

All in all, I cannot remember what is going wrong between us and I just keep silent…

Later, my workplace arranges a company trip and we all join including I and him. We are having a lot of fun and of course, he still looks at me with such the eyes of being sorry and I’m just like, what the hell has he been through? lol

~~~Photo Session arrives…

I walk slowly and see the beautiful scenery with my camera in hand and capture those moments…click….click… I don’t really care of where I am heading to until I reach a rural place. Though, there is not only me who stay here, I see him too. I am behind his back and when he turns a round, he is a bit surprise to see me. Yet, he smiles and asks me to take his photos… Confirm! I smile and take his photos… Several photos have been taken; I see such so scary monster which is walking toward him… It looks similar to the dinosaur I always see in cartoon but it is a huge creature and has very long sharp teeth… I’m so astonish and shout, “Hay!!!! Run!!!!”

He turns back to see what I point to and immediately, the monster attacks him! However, he seems has supernatural power, those attacks bring him no harm… The monster starts feeling annoyed and is trying to attack him more while the result is yet no change, he gets no harm… At the same time, he runs toward me and catches my hand to run… Unfortunately, we don’t even get the chance to run even one step since the monster doesn’t stop while he doesn’t attack him too and his new target is me! I feel hot and hurt on my back and I fall down with no any much energy left in my body… I feel like I’m going to leave this world very soon (dying…). He looks quite frightened to see me so… He rushes to lift me up but I cannot stand at all. So, he carries me and stares at the monster quite brutally angrily. The monster laughs happily from the way it hurts me that can put him in such anger…

He: Stop right now!

Monster: Why? Hahahaha… I’m glad to know she is your weakness…

He: Do you dare not to stop?

Monster: Well…So you should go back or she will be done right here…

---------He keeps silent----------

---------The environment is very silent--------

All we hear is the windy that goes to touch the leaves…

And I am still in his hand weakly…

During this weak circumstance, I still have time to doubt of why that monster could speak human language…

And what is the real nature of this guy who is carrying me?

Why does he protect me?

Uhmm… I can’t say a word to question him but I’m thinking in my head and look up to him…

He looks back to me with more regrets and the eyes of praying to get my forgiveness…

He then looks toward the monster sharply with no words…

But the monster nods and walks away... They must already have completely negotiated…

While this man is much more powerful than the monster, what comes up to my head right now, this man must be its leader…

This man must be the monster prince or something…

He looks at me again, his lip is moving to my forehead and….

Finally, I’m blackout!

I could feel his warm attention and much regret that seems he has been doing anything too wrong toward me…Whatever they were all just the dreams… The dreams that happened after the incident day of my serious argument with him in the reality, he is nothing but the one who cursed me in such a very bad manner… A guy should not curse a lady like this….

Strangely, I don’t have any grudge toward him at all in the dream; I cannot remember a thing…

And in reality, he didn’t ask for forgiveness from the way he treated me too rudely as well…

These dreams were way that incorrect…BUT the dream told me something so accurate too…. He is the monster-prince! Good looking appearance with such the unacceptable attitude…Wahahahahah…..

Charm is faded it seems

I read Chinese Zodiac and some related webs since last year for my this year fortune and all I could remember very well, this year brings me such the blossom charm, I would be very beautiful in all ways to other, especially the opposite gender. I just laughed and didn’t ignore…lol…

About last six months, I joined one new world, met new people but performed similar activities. I thought I would feel bored but I had to come in order to get out from my previous misery world.

Though, things went on very opposite to what I thought…

I got such the happiness and humor feeling most of time from doing my tasks and especially, from meeting new people who had beautiful heart and appearance. Moreover, most of them called me the beauty especially the opposite gender; the Chinese Zodiac did guess it well.

I was alike in fantasy world for about 5 months…

The six month arrived this lately and it is the month which is moving to year end soon…

The people who called me beauty, they may get used with my beauty or they may not see it as beauty anymore…

The opposite gender who called me beauty, got attracted coz of me, they have changed little by little until very much…

Some was trying to escape from me,

Some was ignoring my presence, I knew they saw me but the acted as no…

Some started arguing with me,

And the most unique one, the one who showed as he did have a lot good feeling to me, the one who said I had gorgeous beauty and sweet voice, that person turned into such the most unknown person… that person argued with me just severely and even cursed me in such so roughly words, “ugly fattie, ugly face, disgusting speaking…blah blah blah…”. I was very surprised to know but I still gave that person the chance to reject all what I knew… Whatever, I still cannot escape from accepting that he real meant it… I didn’t have any feeling for that person actually, just I like him as friends and I don’t want to ruin our good memory, things still don’t go as I want…

Everything has been ruined… The reasons may because they all knew as I’m married and the year is almost going to the end while then my charm is faded too, isn’t it??? lol… I’m alike Cinderella who has such a limited time to enjoy those moments… lol…

Even though, I still didn’t sadden from what has been changed, I was just a bit shocked…

I believe the right people would come and never leave me…

They are just the wrong ones…

If my wishes real come true…

I remember when I was single, I thought of marrying a poor guy since I wanted us to be strong together by fighting all obstacles together. I thought that marrying the poor guy would make us living roughly at most only 5 years and it would become the healthy roots to our richer life. We would value our love, our happiness and our treasures since we didn’t give up each other in that poverty time but joined hands and walked forward through the sunshine, the rain and the storm…

My wish came very true…

Actually, I didn’t marry the poor guy but the middle class one… However, all his wealth was faded shortly after marriage… I didn’t exactly believe it caused from my wish but I did feel so…lol… A wish which seemed a curse…

From a businessman who owned two businesses over ten years and was living in two rental flats that he could always support for over ten years too; he became a guy who had nothing after those businesses were collapsed…  He was back to work for government public sector as the officer and I was working even harder to support our family… Well, we did go through such the suffering sea of sadness, tears, disappointment, penniless, argument and the heavy obligations as the parents of two boys. We moved to live with my Mom and depended on her almost 40%. We were and still are the burden to my parents… We even discussed about divorcing very often… And it never worked out…lol

Finally, 5 years of marriage was over and our 6^th Wedding Anniversary would arrive this shortly of December 2017. I then start wondering if my wishes real came true since 5 years we were being just very out of expectation, had been over but we are now still not yet better… More than anything, we are even poorer… lol… I ever thought of buying car and drove to work but then I stayed calm and tried to erase this thought from my sadden head & heart. At the moment, I replaced by thinking of buying one auto motorbike (Click Brand)… Back and forth, I still cannot afford it until now… and this is already 6 months after thinking of it…. Thus, I also planned for abroad trip while I tried so hard to get my wings done (passport). It has been 3 months already after my wings were created, yet I still cannot have enough budgets to fly to my desired place… I feel just so miserable… I wanna go to Korea first and then, the land of nature in Europe (Switzerland, New Zearland, etc.), the place I always dreamt of and kinda the dreams I so adore…

Nothing else but God please; kindly doesn’t turn my wish into a curse!

I already experienced the wish which came true of being 5 years fighting from the bottom…

So now, 5 years had been over… Please!!!! Please grant the next one…

“Wealthy, Healthy, Beauty, and Love for me and my family, my all people.”

Last but not least, at this moment, I’m just too poor, easily being sick, I’m so fat and I feel less love…. Lol… The fact!

Second unplanned trip

It was a nice day, the sky was so kind by sharing its gentle cold temperature with very less sunshine, I did love it. I, my honey and our both boys went for breakfast… Yeah, we were quite comfortable with this weather, so we all suggested for a trip to Oudong Mountain…

We prepared this and that but not very much, though we still left home a bit late, at 10am. Around 20 mins after our departure, the sun started shining and shared its heat just very much… I got cheated by the sun… hmmm… We still continued our trip… We arrived the place at 11.30am, we drove around the mountain and enjoyed the view of green forest… We had lunch at a nearby restaurant first and at around 1.15pm, we went up through hundreds stars to the top of mountain… it was quite hot and we were very tired but we dared to make it happen and we did… There were a lot of fun along the way to the top and it was quite the beautiful scenery from the top of mountain to the bottom… We saw colorful roof of villagers’homes, the pagodas, palm trees and rice fields, lakes, streams, ponds and many more trees… We were quite glad that we didn’t give up climbing to this high place... (We did thought of it several times anyway..lol) and we were compensated by this beauty of nature… Love it!

In short, we just went up and spent around 15mins on the top and went down… hehehe… Finally, we left there at around 3pm while we didn’t head back home but visited another place, called Banteay Longveak in ancient era… It is now the pagoda where fulfilled with many histories. We parked near a greeny pond and relaxed… Well we had no more energy to discover this place… Around 40 mins later, we were back home and my hubby suggested for a new street, so we followed (coz he was the driver too, we cannot deny lol). Without knowing this street was under construction, we went through such a terrible travelling…. I felt like riding on the boat, I felt dizzy and it was still hot, I sweated as f***! The street distance was only around 30km but we spent almost 1 hour and a half to go over it… it was very inconvenient and I did complain just that much to my hubby and all he could reply, it was his chuckling… awwww……

The trip ended and we arrived home at around 7.30pm, it was such so exhausting day, yet a nice memory as well!