I can’t believe I often come back to my blog diary most of the time because of disappointment, painful soul, broken heart and I want to shout out here… My safe zone! Almost 3 years, from 2023 until February 2025, I was in a closed friendship with a person and I adored this person in such a high level… I feel positively to be with her, most of the time we spent together, was with trust and laughing… Yes, the beautiful friendship moment like I was in high school… She is to me as people medicine whom brings me joke, joy and compassion… We shared works, personal and many other things.. From March 2025, things changed… I’m not sure what I did so wrongful to her which made her changed… She disconnected with me and draw a clear line between us… I did ask her what went wrong between us, I can explain and I can take responsibility on my action as well if any… Though, she doesn’t tell me why, she just put a hug gap between us… I cannot accept this, I tri...
The rooster starts alerting as it’s the New Day since the early dawn; the sun starts rising; the birds start singing and it awakes me from the sweetie sleeping… The new day starts every day and morning mostly brings the people of new feeling, fresh and stressless. Though, I don’t really feel those kinda good feeling. I sleep with much consideration about my currently life and waking up thinking again about life. The night is when I begin to think and morning is when I remind of what I have been thinking. The most popular questions I remain asking myself are: 1. My debt of 72 months or 6 years that ties me and it was just 2 months over that I returned the debt… 70 months more to go; would I bear it? 2. Why I cannot lift that debt aside to feel better and return them step by step? 3. What if I cannot return the debt next few years? 4. Why do I need to respond with the high expense of daily life and now add up with that huge debt? The debt of not only that 72 months but...
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