Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Misunderstanding brings Pain


I and my team got a nice but tiring project…

My management set the deadline and the rest had our own target and responsibilities to be completed in order to reach that deadline.

We all were trying hard to do but things didn’t go so well. What I observed, we did repeated job since we only focused on our individual duties without knowing our team members well. Hence, I thought of solution and raised up to the team. Team loved my idea. So, I noticed to the management and the management said we can do it in any method we felt good with and ensure our result aligns with timeline. I saw it as Green Light!

Thing went almost well… Then, one team member seems not delighted with my way of work as a whole and filed the complaint. Immediate meeting was set and I explained and solved shortly.
That team member complained second time, another meeting set up and I explained again… Things calmed down…
That team member’s still not happy with my proposal… He felt like I assigned job for him to do… He filed complaint to the management again… I was so devastated to this repeated consequence and I was out of patience… Even I did explain but they must never had accepted it that caused another and one another meeting took place… This last meeting was the worst one… I could not control my temper, I felt the management frankly was not happy with my proposal.

He asked me why this project had to follow my suggestion?
I told him it could save a lot of time without confusion and we ensure good result…
He asked me… so why was I the one who lead?
I told him, I didn’t lead it… Team asked me to do only… Anyone could do it…
He asked me… Couldn’t it be done in other way?
I told him, why not? We can… I won’t defend my opinion and rejected other… Then, what kind of method would he prefer?
He raised up…
I challenged… So that cannot be…
He raised up again…
I challenged again… and it really won’t work…
He seems upset… and so did me!
I told him, I was challenging for better, not bitter!
We both ended the discussion…
We tried to fix our mood and back to professionalism…
Yet, we found it hard to face each other like nothing happened…

Today, I find out something interesting…
The fact behind the management reaction to me is that…
He misunderstood me…
He thought I leaded the team without his approval… He forgot himself that I already noticed to him…
He mentioned like… I acted like the management who assigned tasks for team members… The way I did so far, it is inappropriate… Since that is not me but him in term of a lead person…
I feel awkward to know this…
And it went like…
Ahhhh… Again!!! I look better as BITCH, oppositely to who I am…

I almost could not believe my ears…
I always thought he was the one who would always stand on my side…
But he misunderstood me…
He chose to see me negatively first!
He felt offended, did he?
I am not that type of person…
And he is on his way to find another way to complete this project…
He could not accept the way I work, no matter how positive the result can be…
And I am sure I would zip my lips… and just lets it flow the way he flips…
I am so disappointed to know he is seeing me so…
I never meant to insult him or his power…

Oh my pity soul!
I do sympathize myself for being innocent inside by bitchy cover I must look like…

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I’ve been through a path I chose myself, my professional journey. I believed I would deliver the best result and met my stakeholder’s expect...