Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Drunken Guys!

Drinking alcohol!!! Is it the habit of men to show their feeling? Of happy? nervous? Meeting or party? Can’t they just take other drinks beside alcohol? I used to test it already and I know its taste’s quite hard to swallow… it’s really bitter, especially ABC beer! Thus, alcohol is a dangerous drink to damage our health; all the men know it…why are they still satisfied with it? Hmmmm….

Meanwhile, alcohol has the power to change human’s characteristic as well…from a nice one, a gentle man into an aggressive guy!!!! Yesterday, I’ve been outside with my honey to join a meeting with his colleagues. That’s a drinking party while most of them are men ~~! They started greeting each other warmly and started drinking beers. An hour has gone…they started being drunk and they changed their behavior and words…even my guy whom is a gentle, doesn’t prefer to talk much and a strict guy, he turned to be a very noisy one, talked quite a lot…  He and his friends enjoyed loudly speaking, cheerful and yea…kept boasting about this and that to each other…!!! They seem too proud of themselves and my honey was the most one! :S … I felt I started getting ashamed to be in their group…heheh…but luckily, other groups in that restaurant seem not so different, just my honey’s group was a bit nosier…^^” Actually, I hate…so hate the boasted guy and I just knew yesterday, this negative thing also exists in my guy’s behavior…Ooooh my lord! :{  Moreover, you know? You know? You know ha??? I know….you don’t know….hmmmm…. my guy turned from a mature man of his age in early thirty into a brat young guy whom just alike around twenty years old…hmmm….so much…so much! On the way going back home, he rode motor just as that’s his own road…no one's else riding there… I remembered we even almost got argument with the teenager group on the road because of his riding style…aww…yea, I’m scare… !!! :’< So, I decided to ride the motor instead of him and lets him sat behind of me… yeeeee… this drunken guy, what’s he doing while I was riding? Our motor got unstable…because of his moving to left and right, left and right…heoy…dangerous! If I rode my motor to work by myself, I won’t be able to join this party and these kinda things, I won’t meet nor know…but how come? I’m now pregnant with a big belly, so he needs to take me to work and after leaving work too… but now... I’m the one whom riding motor… need to try to control the motor while my honey kept moving and my baby inside my tummy kept kicking me… hahaha… unexpected…

I saw all behaviors of drunken guys…. Sure, they are different....some of them, turn to be very silent and just keep smiling, some turn to be too polite to me until I feel shy to get from them while some turn to be really unacceptable, use violent such as breaking the glasses, start arguing with other, start cursing or fighting ….etc. Fortunately, my guy just transformed to be a noisy, boastful and a bit aggressive one or if he got serious than this, I can’t imagine what will happen next… 

If I know this party’s been going on so, I better choose not to go and stay at home would be much releasing…

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Meaning of “Rella”


Rella is a female name from different nationalities such as Chilean, Dutch in Italy and Russian in U.S. This name is related to those people whom are punctual, affectionate and thoughtful. However, Rella is not a popular first name for women but a very popular surname or last name for all people.

According to a web, it gives the meaning to this name very nice and this so fits to my real personality as well…hahaha…this is the fact, I don’t mean to boast…it said Rella means:
R is for radiant, it's your personality!
E is for excellence, your passion, your drive.
L is for listen, one of your best traits.
L is for luxury, the luxury of your smile.
A is for affirm, the certainty of knowledge.

In fact, Rella is not my real name but it's my nick name which I gave to myself. No many people know my this nick name since I have several more nick names…lol… One of my sweetie friends said she like calling me Rella… she said that's nice and sweet... In addition, because I love Cinderella cartoon movie and sure, I love this actress…then I prefers to give myself the nick name of Cinderella; although, it seems so long to call like this and I’m even shy to be called Cinderella… Then, I gave myself a nick name of RELLA instead…. ^^


Reference:

- Retrieved July 12, 2012, from http://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/0/Rella

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Yesterday Raining

There was such a very heavy rain yesterday at around 5:40pm and this was my leaving time from work. I rushed to go home and that was quite difficult for me to ride motor under that heavy rain while I’m now pregnant around 6 months. Although, I had no choices but needed to go through this condition with the flooding road which almost made my motor to stop-working. I better used the boat…

Finally, I reached home safely. Spending around 45mins with traveling under the rain and even stucked in the traffic, I was really tired and of course, I was very hungry. Nothing I could buy to eat while raining beside waiting for dinner that would be around 8:30pm. The rain still continued to drop strongly…. I’m so surprised to know my husband was not at home!!! He been out side with his friends for dinner… he’s going out even that’s still raining… he called me around 6:15pm and said he would be back very soon but he arrived home at around 8:30pm. I was quite wondering of him; of his thought… how does he think to this family?  He’s still single or what? He often kept his pregnant wife at home alone… in case I got any accident at home, who could help me? Thus, weren’t him worry of me with motor-travelling under that heavily rain? Or not worry of his son? He seemed out of caring to me this time. I felt so down and yeah, my eyes started raining too…just as the rain outside…
He’s always going out while single, rarely had meal at home…so it’s hard for him to change his habit even after married…I do understand. I always give him time to change step by step. I always calm and talk to him gently because I think he would understand my kindness and would try to change. However, he seems see me in different way. He sees as I’m not strict at all, then he usually does what he prefers…even if sometime I ban him, he still find the reasons to fight me and does what he wants… I’m his wife… and now I’m pregnant…but he seems also not care of my daily food too… At first he knew I’m pregnant, he’s very happy and yea, he bought many neccessary things to support my health…but later, he told me to buy those by myself…he told me to buy whatever I want to eat by myself, my own budget… He seems not care of this lady anymore. He said “I’m strong and I have my own salary, I would be able to support myself….” What should I call of his this view? Is it the responsibility of being a husband? How could I rely on him? Even though I’m strong but now I’m pregnant…pregnant! Can’t he just make me happy and feel free? I mostly get angry and cry hard because of his actions… I feel so sympathy on myself… He often keeps me alone until I usually feel I’m in an isolated world….a world which full of sadness… exactly disappointed and of course, I’m furious… he still walks on the life just as he’s still single…

If he keeps suffering me like this… I’m sure I would one day leaving him… the leaving which cannot come back… the leaving which no one would see me again… :’(

Monday, July 9, 2012

"What kind of this love should be called?"

I’ve heard since our body is belong to us, then we extremely could control it, right? 100%??? Could we really control our heart and feeling too? Do you believe in this?

I used to believe in this…until I met a man…
A man whom is not a very good man…
A man whom is sometime very childish…
A man whom is wasting money as he’s so rich…
A man whom almost called alcohol-addicted…
A man whom even already married… but still keep going-out at night…
Even that not so often but several times as well per months…
That’s not an acceptable late coz mostly it’s around 10pm and once at 1:30am…
A man whom not really focus on financial support to his wife…
A man whom also made me cry …
Made me disappointed…made me non-speech…
But he’s funny…he did sweet to me…
He shows his loves to me, also make me smile…
He respects me, thinks as I’m important…even not all the times…
We been through many sweet moments and yeah…that’s so so excited… romantic..
He made my heart beats faster…
Then, the belief I can control myself starts to be just a whisper…
No more strength…but is flying by the air to another world…
I can’t believe it anymore even I used to believe it deeper…
I can’t do it…no matter if I did try hard…
I used to tell myself…please do not love anyone more than my own…
I did commit to do this…
However, that failed to do it…
Or coz it’s my nature which always thinks of other???
I’m sure I did love myself very much…until he appeared…
His presence made me change…
From time to time, my love for him just keeps increasing…
I almost can’t believe I cried for just one night without him…
The ability to control my sentiment just became shadow…
So far and so forth, his bad and good points just mix up…
While the good things seem cover his negative ones..
Yea.. yea… I do love him now…


Love a man whom is not a very good man…but maybe he’s a perfect one in my eyes…
I’m now aware I’m just a silly girl…
Easy to feel enough even though many people said that’s not enough…
Nothing much he’s been doing to me…
Just show he quite loves me…
And give me something to proof it… then, I fell in his love…
I confess I’m easy to forgive other…especially him…
Coz I believe he would change one day… change all his badness just coz of me…
Since what I wished.. always come true… and I wished he would be able to do…
I already decided to trust this man even sometime he made me hesitated to trust…
He’ll do it for me… I still keep believing…and keep waiting…
I’m going to give him much time… and keep guiding him…
He would be changed… I wish I wish…
Is it a crazy love?
Or, what kind of this love should be called?
I know…that’s not crazy but coz it’s a love of that silly girl… so it’s a SILLY LOVE….!!!


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I’ve been through a path I chose myself, my professional journey. I believed I would deliver the best result and met my stakeholder’s expect...