Dream to Reality, "Promotion"

It started with my dream again…

I dreamt of singing with a cool man I did love… There were audiences around us and I felt I knew a few of them, looked like my colleagues… We sang and we danced, we danced quite much until our clothes ripped off our body that remained only our underwear. I was shy and tried to cover my body with my own hug and moved into the bathroom but accidently slipped into the bathroom pool. It was the highest floor of the building but that bathroom pool seemed have something witchy that when I fell into it, it continued to slip my body down quite quick to fall into another pool… I tried to stand up from the water and found myself locating in the bathroom again; though it was the lowest floor of the building!!!”

A new day came after dream…

After I got up from that dream, I tried to analyze the meaning of it. People may find it ridiculous for paying much attention on dream. However, my dream mostly has its core meaning for what is about to happen in my real life. That is why I cannot avoid myself not to think about it.

- Should it be the good dream? Coz I saw I was so closed with a handsome man that I do love, a man who is the Korean star, a man who will never know who I am…lol…  

- Should it be the bad dream? Coz beside the time I have spent with him happily, my image was ruined by almost be naked in front of many people, especially some who knew me…

I challenged myself to guess the dream….

Mostly, whenever I see myself in underwear or completely naked in dream, I will be the subject to be gossiped from people in real life. More than that, if I see anyone around that time in dream, they will be related to the real life’s scene. What comes to me first in conclusion is that, those people that I saw in dream, they gossiped about me…lol…

Well, I didn’t stop thinking even I already got a conclusion coz I won’t be sure if it is correct. I continued to guess. Immediately, I felt shocked of thinking something… At my working place, my manager just put resignation. The senior staff after my manager is me; I joined the company around 6 months before the colleagues I saw in dream. I saw I fell down magically while my colleagues were still at that high floor. So my second conclusion came up. I guessed one of them can be promoted to be the manager instead of the current manager. I couldn’t stay still, no stability in my heart; I need someone to encourage me if it real happens…

On that same day, when I got home from work, I kept questioning my mom, my dad and my husband of what should I do if this real happen? Should I reject? Should I resign? My husband is not so different from me, we are hot-tempered lol. He supported me all even I wanna stay or resign. In contrast, my parents were so calm and cold.

- They asked me back, did I want to be the manager?

- I replied, I didn’t want myself to be the manager nor they were. I always want a manager who is much more senior than me with years of experience and high maturity.

- They said, that was my expectation only. I may meet what I wish to have or at the end, I still cannot meet that expectation. Then, what is the use to think about this?

- Mom added, she knew I may feel unwell if it real happens; whatever, she wanted me to put this thought a way and replaced with the cares and parenthood’s responsibilities to my kids. She said, keep doing my job well until the month ends; open the salary for my family. That is all.

- Dad added more, this society isn’t the place where we can always find justice. My dad said, a guy who just joined the company while my dad has already been working there for 10 years and that new guy became his boss. He also feels disappointed but what to do? His boss exactly has the closed connection to the higher management… He said time would heal our wounds, forget it and ignore it. That is all.

Their advises strived me to think of positivity. I tried to put myself into a state that if it happens, I gonna be able to confront it. I’m a bit kinda complicated person anyway. This was all what I guessed and I already feel disappointed with nervous…lol

The next day arrived…

I went to work and left work as usual. That evening was the birthday of one of my colleague’s son. I already reached her house but was called to come back to the office since the highest management wanted to meet me. My instinct told me, maybe what I guessed, became real… I feel ashamed and a bit scare of how I could respond if he asked me something about that. On the way back to office, I trained myself again and again about words to respond…. =,=’

Walking into the meeting room, my legs were shaking and so did my lips.

The conversation started:

- The highest management asked me; how did I think if he promoted one of my team to be my manager?

It real happened!!! God!!!! -____________-

- I replied, “It doesn’t bother me at all since I could see he was doing a lot of great work lately. Even if I got promoted instead of him, people would say it’s unfair for him, don’t you think so Mr. CEO?”

----big lie of me--- >___<

----try to be cool but keep shaking the speech---- =((

- The CEO said, “Yeahh, I could see he is doing very well. It’s good that you recognize it anyway.”

---- “It’s good that you recognize it anyway.” This sentence is repeatedly spoken in my head none stop with doubts… what did the CEO mean??? Did he mean, I should know how poor my performance is, shouldn’t I??? ---- ?___?

We were talking about this subject around 10 minutes and it ended.

The traffic that day was just that so shit, I spent more than 40 minutes to reach the party’s venue (which normally is around 15 minutes) and more than 40 minutes again to reach the office just to get a discussion of less than 10 minutes! O___o’

In the last conclusion, my dream did tell me about this. Actually, maybe there is no one gossiping me but just my honor is getting down, new staff will become my manager. I do fall down to the lowest part.

I know he is doing many great jobs recently that the management is quite appreciate. But, does it mean I cannot do those jobs? I just don’t get the chance to do it. My colleague was assigned to do those jobs coz they are the responsibilities of his position. Then, does it mean my current job has problems? Noooo, it doesn’t have any problems. It’s going good as normal. Since it is going good as normal and his job is going better than normal, he got promoted. :)

Should I feel so big thankful to the management for calling me to ask about his decision? Lol… He absolutely already made the decision. In positive, he asked me about that since he is the management with the high working ethic to his staff. However, if I rejected, would he change his mind? It can’t be….hehehe….

I was sad and cannot sleep well that night… Even I already accepted this fact but not 100% yet. I put a lot of calm in my soul; I tried to console it and let’s it be. I used almost 12 hours in order to get a peace and I guess I gonna use a bit more few days to get a real peace in mind…

“I better not to think about what already lost or what I don’t have; let’s treasure of what I am having if I want the good life!”, right???